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I'm so weak
I don't know how they could see me as strong
How can someone you've seen crying ever seem scary?
I don't get it
but it's more than that
I don't know whats worse
Being alone,
having no one to tell you they love you
or being in a relationship.
Not knowing if they love you
wondering if your as important to them as they are to you
wanting to hear them say "I love you"
even though you know it's hard for them to say it.
So insecure that it's scary
so selfish, it's unreasonable
so in love, that you don't know what to do anymore.
I've always hated winter.
It was too cold.
But the nights were the worst.
So cold, even under blankets,
even if the blankets are warm enough,
you're aware that it's not a humans warmth.
But it's even worse when you have someone you love,
because you can put a name to the missing warmth
and if you know their warmth, it makes you all the more aware that it's not them.
Being in love is so lonely.
However, there is a time when it's worth it
worth all the pain you can imagine
is when they are there and holding you, loving you.
Love is so complicated.
It can make us feel so strong and so powerful
but it also reminds us how needy and weak we are.