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what can i say
i feel nothing
i don't feel hate
i don't feel love
he has a cute personality
but its just as annoying
everything good about him has an opposite, bad thing
i don't want to hurt him
that's all i do know i feel for him
but i also don't want to stay in another loveless relationship
even if he does love me
i don't want to lead another person on
i just didn't know what to do then
i should have just never said yes
i never should have
but now i have to pay
I have to hurt him
tell him i don't love him
because i don't
and i cant lead on as if i do much longer
its that damn emptiness
filling my heart
that inability to look at him
and trick myself into thinking i love him
i knew from the start that i didn't love him
but i thought i might be able to
at least i fooled myself into believing i might be able to
but another lie for another fool was all it was
at times like this
its when i feel again that i shouldn't be
never should have been
if u refuse to believe that
then blame it on the hormones
but i cant help to feel that
when i have to hurt those i care for
i care for him
but i don't love him
and so i have to be honest
for the both of us
he needs to look for a real love
and i need to think on things on my own for a while
he only wanted me because i didn't feel like saying no
and the only reason i didn't feel like saying no
was because i didn't feel like feeling anything
or i just wanted to make my heart forget
forget another
love another
and then forget
and i always say the same thing
i say I'm not going to be the one to break up with them
either because i love them too much to do that
or because it takes more effort breaking up
than staying together
but i always find myself saying goodbyes
i always find a reason
"he didn't love me"
"u deserve better"
"I want to become better for u"
even now
"he needs to find someone else"
I'm full of excuses but can i make up for them
i don't know
and I'm scared to try
but, its the least i owe them, right?
 Ayala55 · Tue Jan 05, 2010 @ 04:33am · 0 Comments |
