heart break rant 11/9/09 4:20pm
march-july:
so if your reading this you probably read my status.....
i went out with this kid (imma refere to him as sunshine) a couple of times and i may have "fallen for him" as people say.....he was my first kiss and my first true love.....but one day in late march of 09 i was being an effing idiot and ended it.....i tried to get him back but nothing worked....thats when we started talking s**t to eachother and saying things about one another....then the day after my bday he suprises me with a necklace that i wear every day to this day....i eventually got over him and found someone else.....one day on the bus he texteded me (even though he was right across the aisle) saying that he still loves me and that he wants me back.....that was when i discovered that i was never over him.....but i really liked the other guy i was with so i stayed with him.....but in july i ended that and found my self with sunshine again.....jay and kelson where so mad at me....i didnt wanna lose them so i ended it with sunshine.....
august-september:
im doing pretty good.....kinda...i find out that sunshine likes my "wifey" (im straight dont worry)
i see sunshine every day for about 2 weeks untill he starts talking to me and messing with me again.....it starts with a "hey" in the hallway then a poke to the side then hugs......then one fatefull wednesday he asks me out then dumps me the following sunday he dumps me.....the following wednesday he asks me out and i say yes (im a dumb a** i no) and we wer great for about a month.....then comes the cali trip with my school.....i go and he stays here.....the saturday night that we leave im sitting in the second A in the CALIFORNIA sign outfront disneyland/cali adventures.....i get a text from him saying "i love you" my response "i love you to. hows ur weekend" his final reply "no its over i cant stand you leave me alone" i cried in sammi and beccas arms......
2 weeks ago:
this is not accurate but its close (its over text)
sunshine:hey
me:hey
sunshine:whats up
me:nothing much you??
sunshine:nothing
me:koolh...
sunshine:im sorry about what happened....i still like you
me:then why'd you dump me?...
sunshine:i was drunk
me:well why didnt u try to fix it the next week?
sunshine:i dont know...
me surprised h.....well its ok i guess.....
sunshine:cool
me:ya
sunshine:you look so pretty right now (we wer on the bus and he was a couple seats behind me)
me:seriously or are you just patronizing me?
sunshine:im being serious
and thats all i can recall......
i see him every day and wonder "what couldve happened if i took his sorry a** back?..." i look in his eyes and see what hes hiding from everyone else....
so now i think i still like him and now i like another kid
so thers my rant.....
comment if you like.....
advice is greatly accepted
DONT GO THERS MORE!!!!!
i asked out the other kid today but hes got a girl so that was a horrible failure.....but oh well ill get over it
sunshine on the other hand.....well i no i still love him but for some reason i cant except it.....its strange. i give him my heart then he returns it broken......ive shed maybe to many tears for him but my heart yearns for him......his warm embrace his eyes looking into mine.....
so yea i moght give him another chance but i might not.....
love is a knot that no one can untangle.....
i need help!!!! to all you people out there that have the same problem i no how you feel!!! love sucks but we need it. plz comment with advice i need it big time! (imma keep updating this so check in!)
i gave him one last chance and we wer good for about 3 weeks then he didnt talk to me for 4 days straight so i dumped him.....now (2 months later) i think i still love him....he looks at me on the bus and in the halls and we make total eye contact and then one of us looks away and it kills me.....on the brighter-ish side i reeeeeealllly like this kid i met thers just one problem.......he live on the other side of town and my rents wont let us hang.....phuk them....
advice is still graciously accepted!!!!!
 Crimson016 · Mon Nov 09, 2009 @ 11:53pm · 4 Comments |
