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I flinched
what did he just say
'Derrick's breaking up with you'
'Is that so?'
I'm surprised at how calm I was
I didn't freak out
I didn't cry
I just...stood
I'm still breathing
It took a while to sink in
I was so sad
trying to smile and speak as if nothing was wrong
but the tears didn't come until later
After it was confirmed by someone else
I was singing
'Breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true'
when a few tears flowed down
unnoticed by most, I don't know if anyone saw it
but I tried to compose myslef
so I could continue singing
God, I was glad you weren't at the flagpole afterschool that day
Because the pain was obvious on my face
As I was walking away from school
that's when the tears really started,
I tried so hard to hold it back
but the tears were flowing
and one of my friends saw it
not knowing the situation, I told her to go
No explanations
I can't count the number of people who saw me break down
When I got home, I went straight to my room
I hid as I bawled my eyes out for at least 20n minutes
Then without any words to my family
I went to the shower to hide my red, puffy eyes
I tried to talk myself into control
'No more tears, of course it's over
you sniveling brat.
You always knew it had to end.
No excuses, you should be ready for it.
Life is a stage, no tears, no real emotions,
be an actress, professional and strong.
It doesn't matter if it's killing you,
hold it in, as you always have.'
Yes, as I always have, I'll hide the pain
Even as it kills me