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I have two personalities: a wise, thoughtful, and sophisticated personality that can be used to answer questions many have ponder for many a day.I also have a personality of pure, sweet, blissfull jack-assery, somewhat in a stoner sensation that would laugh at the word...mayonaise.

Today was one of those....jack-assery days.

Well, it actually happened a few weeks ago, like two, but that's besides the point.

In Pre-Calc., I sit next to a guy named Julius. Julius and I have known each other since Freshman year, which was about 2yrs. and some-odd months. During those times, we've been through some much jack-assery, we'd make drunks look sober, we'd make potheads look clean.

One day, he started off about elements and the cartoon show Avatar. If you have seen it, you may have an inkling of I'll be spewing out. If not...enjoy the ride.

Julius: "Earth, fire, water, wind. Those are the four elements that govern our world. I control ALL the elements!! Which one do YOU control?"

Me: "Beef."

...I came up with that answer as a spur of the moment.

J: "Beef? BEEF? How the hell can you control Beef?!? BEEF-BENDING?!?"

I: "Of course."

J: "Explain."

I: "If I can relate the slavery that the US imposed upon the black people to Star Wars, then I can do this. Easy."

J: "...Sure."

I: "Well, Beef-Bending would be the manipulation of Beef, right?"

J: "Yes."

I: "Well, then, if I were to take yea cow and shove it in a meat grinder, making it effectively into a hamburger patty fit for McDonalds, wouldn't that be the manipulation of Beef?"

J: "I guess."

I: "Done."

While he was left to ponder how I destroyed the fabric of reality, I came up with more of the elements.

I: "Yeah, so, Beef is the equivilant of Fire, Pork to Earth, Seafood to Water, and Poultry to Wind."

J: "....Wait, how is Beef related to Fire?"

I: "The Fiery passion of Bulls!!"

...Again, another thing off the tip of my tongue.

And this is when we really started busting out laughing. I mean, we were laughing the whole time, but this time...I was already beyond tears of laughter, but this was beyond that.

And then I flung a packet of beef jerky at him, to show him my magnificent and mighty power of Beef-Bending.

More jack-assery and wisdom to come. Same Bat time, same Bat place.