A Guide to Crush the Dreams of Today's Children!
1. Tell them Barney is actually Michael Jackson, waiting for the right moment to molest them.
2. Show them a pic of Michael Jackson molesting a kid on camera from a former T.V. show that was later cancelled for sexual violations.
3. Tell them the Tooth Fairy is really their dad
4. Tell them they were adopted from that hobo across the street for $5. The vaccination papers are blank.
5. Go to those Build A Bear Workshops, take a heart, and throw it on the ground and step all over it. Then take a lighter and burn it. Or, buy a perfectly good one, then walk outside the store, and tear it to shreads in front of the other children.
6. Video tape the murder of Santa Clause and switch it with the original movie for the kindergardeners.
7. Tell them, "We aren't laughing with you, we're laughing AT you." Then push them into the street when they aren't looking.
8. Ask one of your friends to distract a boy scout. Then take an inflatable old lady and push it into rush hour, blaming it on him when charges are pressed.
9. Tell them, "Your mom and dad never loved you. They only want you for your college money."
10. Show them a cute squirrel, only to have it be attacked by your dog.
11. Tell them to bring mom's toys to school for show and tell
12. Fill their stuffed animals with dynamite and toss them into a river.
13. Your parents don't send you to school to get an education. They just don't want to have to deal with you
Have any more ideas? Send a PM of it, and I'll post it up! ^_^
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