Our sporking opens in the theater, but it seems to have traveled back in time. The seats are extra-fancy, there are heavy curtains over the screen, and the projector makes a whirring and clicking sound. Sora, Kairi and Riku are already seated when Axel walks in.
Axel: What the...*looks at himself* Why the hell am I in black and white?
Sora: *looks over at him, laughs* Hahahahaha! I knew you'd look ridiculous!
Axel: What *is* this?!
Kairi: Because this is an old-fashioned Sue, we're in the Timeless River theater! We've traveled back in time!
Axel: *throws hands in the air* Well, somebody could've *warned* me!
Riku: Oh hush, you're not even in this one.
Axel: *seats himself with a scowl*
Sora: *concerned* We're not going to be losing our lunches over this today, are we?
Kairi: Unless abused punctuation and Sues makes you nauseous, no. We even get special snacks today!
Sora: Sweet, kettle corn and root beer floats! *starts munching*
Axel: *still scowling at his cartoony self* This better be amusing.
Darmed: A fanfic by me! Yay! Well Rue is gonna help me, as well as Chaos. This is a OC/Riku fic….well the OC isn’t my character…
Chaos: Why am I helping?
Darmed: I wanna use your characters..
Chaos: Oh…
Riku: *head into armrest* Nice of her to warn us right off the bat...
Sora: Who are these people? Are they sporking it, too?
Axel: *snort* Perhaps unintentionally...
Rue: Anyway here’s our disclaimer: None of own Squarsoft/SquareEnix and Disney, or any of their characters. Or why are we writing this?
Chaos: Okay let’s write this thing.
Darmed: I wanted to do this and Chaos sighed and gave me permission to write this.
Chaos: When was this!
Rue: Remember when you were sick and on nighquil?
Axel: *as Rue* And then you puked all over my mom's carpet and she made me clean it up but we were all out of OxyClean? Oh yeah, that was a hoot.
Kairi: Does she mean "Nyquil?"
Sora: Maybe it's the medieval version. "And nigh, she was high off yonder quil..."
Chaos: No….
Rue: Well that was when.
Chaos:…
Summary: Chaos is a mysterious girl at Riku’s school who is silly and smiles a lot. But no one knows her dark secret, and doesn’t intend to tell anyone.
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Chaos was sitting in her bed room, her icy blue eyes were filled with tears that were rolling down her cheeks. Blood was running down her arms, coming from her cut wrists.
Riku: Well, this should be over quickly!
Axel: Suicide so soon?
Kairi: Nah--it's a Sue. Those things never die.
Riku: Like cockroaches. Or cartoon characters.
Her feet were cut up badly and had started to heal when they were re-opened by someone.
Axel: Or someTHING. Dun dun duuun! *waves hands*
Kairi: Well, that's...appropriately vague.
Her long dark brown hair covered her face, her hair had reached her elbows. But this wasn’t new, this always happened to her, her step-mother often beat her in cruel ways and mostly cut her wrists and feet.
Sora: ...what.
Riku: So--she's Cinderella?
Axel: Guess who's the lucky prince.
Riku: *head into armrest*
Heard the lights go off and heard the closing of a door, it was her chance to put ointment and bandage up her wounds. She cringed at the thought of P.E. the next day, but school was her only escape from this pain.
Riku: And here I thought high schools were usually the cause of the pain.
Sora: She could just give them an absence note. "I'm sorry, I can't participate in P.E. today, my stepmother is brutally beating me and I need to angst."
The next day she had woken up at 6 A.M. to walk to school, she didn’t live too far but her feet hurt from the cuts, and would probably slow her down a lot today. She wiped her eyes of a few tears and smiled. It was raining luckily for her, she had an excuse or wearing boots and long sleeves.
“What’re you doing?” A car drove up to her, she looked at who was inside. It was Riku from her homeroom class. She wondered why he cared about her being in the rain, he thought she was an idiot.
Riku: And I do. Lord, how I do.
“You’ll get sick!”
“I’m fine on my own, besides I like the rain.”
Kairi: Great for emo!
Sora: Or black-and-white melodrama!
Axel: Don't remind me. *pouts*
Kairi: Oh you--cheer up already. *gives real fountain cream soda*
Axel: ...*appeased*
She smiled sweetly at him, looking into his aqua eyes. He pulled over the car and opened the passenger door.
“I’ll feel bad if you get sick, please let me give you a ride.” He said, she seemed shocked by his kindness. She smiled and decided to go with him after all. But she did make sure the cuts from last night were out of view. She closed the door and put her seat belt on. He let her put her huge backpack in the back seat of his car. She kept her hands folded in her lap and he seemed to notice she was nervous about something. But she let her guard down for a moment a tiny bit of her bandage showed. “What’s that?”
Axel: It's a tiny bit of bandage! Geez Riku, what are you, blind?
Sora: Uh oh, her emo defenses have been breached!
“!” She looked at him, her eyes filled with fear now.
Kairi: Wait just a second! Where'd the sentence go?
Riku: Kairi, I think that is the sentence.
Kairi: ...No. Just...no. I'm going to move on and pretend I didn't see that.
The Sue meets up with Riku again in her homeroom class, where she promptly gets weak and swoons into his arms. Riku rushes her to the nurse's office…
He lifted her into his arms, one hand on her leg the other on her shoulder. He could feel the heat of her forehead on the skin of his neck. She had a fever, he knew he had to take her to the nurse or something.
Riku: ..."Or something?"
Axel: Yeah. You could take her to an amusement park, or the city dumpster, or out the gummi ship airlock. Those are somethings!
“Um…teacher! May I take Chaos to the nurse’s office! She has a fever!” He sounded panicked, the teacher nodded and he rushed her to the nurse’s office. He put her on the bed and explained what happened in class to the nurse and she nodded. She let him stay but he had to wait outside. He felt his patience running thin, he had been waiting for an hour. She called him in again.
Sora: Great. More worthlessly incompetent adults.
Riku: "Teacher?" What am I, six?
Kairi: Hey--you could be calling her "Midnight True."
Riku: *laughs*
Kairi: I'm not joking.
“Um.. Mr.Riku?” The nurse was a young girl of about 20 and was pretty.
Sora: Since when was Riku your last name?
Kairi: But that would make your name...Riku Riku.
Axel: They CALL ME, MISTEEEER RIKU!
She looked worried. “Could you please come in?”
“…”
Kairi: If he didn't say anything, why bother with the dots and the quotation marks?
He didn’t like the sound of that, something was terribly wrong. Chaos’ sleeves were rolled up and her rain boots were off. This showed what she was hiding, her wrists and feet were bandaged up, the bandages on her arm almost reaching her elbows. He looked at her, the first thought that came to mind was that she cut herself.
“Should we call her parents?”
“I-I don’t think it was her…”The nurse said. “If it was she would have let herself die by now, these cuts were made by knives…”
All: *gawk*
Kairi: Why does NOBODY in these stories have a frickin' degree in medicine?!
Axel: I think they just pick random schmoes off the street and put doctor uniforms on them.
Sora: And how does the cuts being made by knives mean they weren't made by her?
“…” he had no idea what was going on but he had an idea to of getting her to tell him what happened.
Axel: Beat it out of her!
Riku: *bops him with cartoony hammer* You suck.
Axel: Hey, come on. It's not like she's not used to it!
Riku ends up taking the Sue back to his house, and puts her in his bed. How nice of him?
“Mm…”She moved her head to the side and slowly opened her eyes. This place was unfamiliar to her. She looked around, her eyes finally meeting Riku. He was sitting by the bed reading a book.
Axel: It was called "1001 Ways to Cook a Sue."
“How did I get here?”
“You passed out before class started, the nurse said you needed to get home, but when I stopped by no one was home so I brought you here.”
Riku: I what.
Kairi: But he just said that--
Sora: So now he's lying to a distraught girl he's taken to his own home and is in his bed.
Axel: Hey, if it works for date rapists...
He explained. He put the book down and removed the towel, she just looked tired right now, but she was still warm. “Tell me what those cuts came from.”
Axel: Knives, you fool!
Sora: *wistful sigh* Could've been from Heartless...
“…”She looked at him, she felt it was useless to hide it now. “My step-mother Isabella cuts my wrists and feet. Why are you so kind to me?”
Axel: It'll make the betrayal all the more crushing when he breaks her poor Sue heart.
Riku: And then that'll give her angst. Great. Damned if I do, and damned if I don't.
Kairi: Aren't those two sentences a non sequitur?
“…”The truth was he didn’t even know why he cared. He stroked her cheek with his index finger. She was falling asleep.
“Riku…I wish that I could stay with you…”She said her eyes were growing heavy. “You’re the only one who has cared so much about me. Please keep my secret…”
Riku: But I don't care! I don't!
Sora: Must be why you don't keep her secret.
Riku: ...I what.
Axel: *slapsticks* And you say that I'm heartless.
“…”He sighed. She finally fell asleep and he smiled. She looked so cute when she was asleep. He didn’t know what came over him, but he was leaning in on her face. His face close to Chaos’ and he finally kissed her. He quickly backed away, blushing violently. What was this warm and strange feeling he had in his chest.
Axel: What is this feeling, so sudden, and new...
Sora: He felt the moment he laid eyes on you!
Kairi: His pulse is rushing!
Axel: His head is reeling!
Sora: His face is flushing!
All three: WHAT IS THIS FEEEEL-IIING...
Riku: LOATHING. Now SHUT IT.
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Chaos: Okay…this was actually cute.
Riku: No it wasn't.
Darmed: Do you like it?
All: NO.
Chaos: Well I don’t know about Rue, but I like it.
Rue: NOOOO! Why does Riku get MY Chaos!
Riku: Because I do. You’re just jealous I’m perfect.
Riku: *flabbergasted*
Sora: This is so confusing.
Axel: Perfect? Perfectly crazy.
Story Chaos: Sorry Rue, Darmed just likes me with Riku.
Chaos: Don’t worry Rue, I still love you.
Darmed: Anyway, please comment! I’ll update soon even if you guys hate it!
Riku: *blinks rapidly* I am SO confused right now.
Sora: I ask again: Who ARE these people, and why do we care what they think of this story?
Axel: I think perhaps Riku's supposed to be the author's boyfriend, only sexier and...more pixelated?
Riku: *unadulterated loathing*
