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Wow.
I really don't know who I am.
Seriously, I am so confused.

Being alone with myself has really made me realize that I am nothing.
I have no identity.
I'm just a living being acting based on primal instinct.
Eat, sleep, occupy myself with something.

When opposed, I go into fight mode.
When insulted or threatened or scared, I go into flight mode.

I cannot form bonds with other people.
I'm solitary.
Alone in my room...
...Silently rattling the cages of sanity.

Silently calling for help when I know nobody can possibly help me.

I am barely even human.

Where did my old life go?
I remember taking a walk with my ex when we were just friends.
It was hot out, another summer day.
We walked for four miles to get to a bookstore.
We took a break at a Shop Rite, sat on the bench and shared a bottle of Coke.
Just sat there, listening and watching the Coinstar machines as people poured their coins in.

Simple.
Everything was simple.

That memory has been replaying in my mind all day.
I don't miss him.
I miss simplicity.
Enjoying life in the company of others.
Wasting the hours away and feeling like you could take on the world.

I hate being a slave to the TV and World of Warcraft.
The internet.
Complications in our pitiful lives.

...I want to be free.

But I continue to be trapped in this little hellhole of a cage, becoming more distant and hostile every day.
Regression of human behavior through solitude...

I need help so badly...