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Blackfire-Assylum's life
Stuff in real life mostly. I might write write some poetry or stories, but those'll be rare. . . . . for now.
I didn't know I was a poet...
I was tired and wrote a peom, not really stopping to think of what i was typing.

if only, if only,
i say as i look into the world beyond.
if only i could've stayed.
the world collapses around me,
as i stare into nothing,
my mind deciving me as i wonder how it could've happened this way.

What was the purpose?
What was to gain?
As I close my eyes,
i feel no more pain.
what i feel now is what is around me.

the cool breeze of autum
the leaves falling at my feet.
the warmth of the sun
against the cool of the air

is this where i belong?
do i deserve such a feeling?
a feeling of such power entrances me.
I feel calm.

My mind wanders
it wanders to where i used to be
i try to stop
i try not to shiver
i can't help but try to rip my mind away from the things of the past.
I open my eyes.

I see nothing
i see everything.
the calm feeling gone.
my rest had to be over.
I had to go back.

what is this place?
i wonder to my self like i had many times before.
it's dark.
it's cold and plauged.
I long for the feeling again
I wish for the peace.

I don't want to be here anymore.
I want to go away.
I close my eyes and wish for the feeling,
wanting to stay there forever.


Comment and tell me what you think.






User Comments: [2] [add]
Resseikan
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Jan 28, 2008 @ 08:44am
I'm terrible at poetry, so I wouldn't know how to critique it. Mine come out all emo and gay--- And we can't have that now.

You spent awhile on your poem, though. (Well, it's long at least....) I would've got bored by then. So an A for effort.

Oh yeah, get spellcheck and grammarcheck. It's also good to develope your own distinct writing style.


commentCommented on: Wed Jan 30, 2008 @ 05:11am
Meh, I just kind of made it up on the spot while bumping, I didn't really care about grammer/spellcheck



Blackfire-Asylum
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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