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BAAAW, I was reminded (in a funny way) that I am, in fact, a girl. No, not just a teenager, but a girl as well! You'll see what I mean if you continue on to read through this mind-numbing journal. cB
So anyway, I'm infatuated with a guy for a change ("with a guy" is not the emphasis here xD). What's different about it this time is that it's actually what you'd expect from a girl my age, and by that I mean I just can't stop thinking about him! This kind of feeling for a guy is new to me. I'm a very introvert person, not very affectionate, and I'm sometimes known to be really reserve, but I also wouldn't dismiss the reasoning that it could be because I hit puberty later than my peers. I've had crushes on plenty of guys before, but they were trifling, and I knew it. The only thing that makes me sad is that this feeling for him might blow over really quickly like it was only a phase. I'm not too much concerned with having a relationship with him, or if he likes me the same way. I'd actually love that very much, but my past experiences with "boyfriends" tell me that "it just wouldn't work out". I'm also too shy and self-conscious to ever try to initiate any such thing.
A little about the guy:
I've known him for approximately eights years; I know him from my neighborhood because he and his brother used to hangout with my brother a lot.
He's a year older than me (that'd make him a junior). Last year, in my freshman year, he was one of the first guys to talk to me.
This year I'm in the same flight as him in ROTC. He's a Cadet Major and the assistant Cadre.
He's also a football player. (Which, in the unwritten-rules-of-high-schoolers, makes it impossible for me to be his girlfriend by default. rolleyes )
I'm not sure why exactly I like him so much (hence I said I was infatuated). The most basic reasons I can think of is that it's because I think he's really fun, and I think he's attractive. The other reasons are beyond my diction and my ability to explain, but they're clear to me, and that's all that matters. I do, however, have a clear reason for typing about it in this journal, and that is: I think if I don't have an outlet for it somewhere, it's possible that these feelings could cause a lot of drama for me, and I try to avoid teenager-drama as much as possible. Plus, you know, there's that girlish-impulse that makes me wanna proclaim it to the heavens, but I sure as hell ain't gonna do that.
His name is Aaron Wrennall, by the way, but I'm not expecting anyone who might recognize him to read this (thank God).
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OH YEAH! I completed my dream avatar today too. 3nodding
 Atomu · Fri Oct 26, 2007 @ 07:06pm · 0 Comments |
