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getting in from work i hear myself say.

"Take a shower, you need to think."

i always tend to think darker thoughts in the shower, i think of love, death story plots, you name it, but i can't get my mind off of this girl, she's got me bad and i still can't stop thinking of her, then it drifts to romance, how it would be to hold her in my arms and just look at her, into those eyes, at her hair at the gentle rising of her chest as she took breath, the weight of her on my arms... holding her close to me, her body pressed against mine, her chest to my chest, her neck to my neck, suddenly she pulls back and bites me... it turns to sci-fi, now she's a vampire, i am her prey, it's 17th century Paris, and she's wearing a sheath of a petticoat, almost transparent in the pale moon light, skin so smooth and ivory white, eyes that pierce the very soul and the voice that could very well rend it from you... it doesn't matter if i die now...

Boundless darkness, me reaching up for her as i see myself falling into it, it's cold, too cold... water splashes my face.... time for the soap... i rub it over my skin and i imagine rubbing soap on her... this doesn't help... how are you supposed to write anything if you can't stop thinking about her, Tracy?

easy... write about her... ideas keep flowing into your head, but you never write them down and you just keep mulling them over in your head until you hit a dead end... you lose the plot altogether, your writing too much about you and her and the other characters lack depth... what are you doing? seriously, Tracy, your not gonna get anything done.

A romance can be done easily with this state of mind all it really needs is you, her and a few nameless characters... but you don't want a thin paperback for the young child yearning for romance... you want to bring the fantasies of women to life with your words... your words that you use so well...