Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

The truth all in one e-mail.
-------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jamie Friend Persona,

Friends never pry, it seems to me that they only take care in observing and helping, so don't feel reluctant with me, please. The Job search is going better than it was but with it's evolvement there have been new downfalls, "Too young, too far away" etc. I have a place that wants me and I met the criterea and passed the questionaire but they've yet to sic a manager on me to let me know for sure.

Change is being a pain in my a**. I found someone new and all that he's brought me is problems that...in truth, problems that I caused without meaning too. Makes me realize how out of place I am. The thing is he's perfect for me, maybe a bit quiet but me trying to help him out screwed me over. Basicly he livied in Colombus before and was about to lose his home and I called in a favor from an older friend of mine who rents out his house in a bad area of Toledo and he moved in and...bah. Jane has been bringing about drama because of that; That I'm spending more time with someone who she thinks is 20, but is 23...and because I'm spending time in a bad area...etc. -Huff- It makes things hellish, so does this counselor I have to go to now. Last night I was allowed to go to a club for the first time, so I got snuck in easily and I didn't wanna go home, so I stayed with my guy friends and then went to school in the morning and she called and said if I wans't home in an hour my counselor said to set the cops on me. So little me, in full goth clubbing attire, has to catch some busses to eventually get home to the silent treatment. Which I got all night. Then this mornign Jane said next time she figures out I'm at my guy friend's then she's calling the cops on me.

Thent here's the money situation. She can't live without my 1,060 of social security a month and she's trying to say I can't move out for another year or two. Jane also thinks that making my life a living hell will make this easier, so in her mind breaking me down is going to make me dependant on her. News Flash: I won't take it.

Jamie, I've become so hard that it scares me, some times I feel like all I'm doing is putting my emotions to the side and saying things just to make people happy and it rips me apart to try to figure out what I really want. I know I want outta here, hah.

Anyways...that's what you were feeling, Miss Empath, I hope I haven't scared you...

Much Love,
Megan