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I feel the light graze of frost,
As I walk through the bitter streets,
I won’t admit that I’ve gotten lost,
As I feel the snow beneath my feet.
*
I find a corner, safe from snow,
And light my last cigarette,
I watch the gray smoke as I blow,
And try so hard just to forget.
*
I open my wallet and try to find,
Something that might help me,
I look in, around, under, behind,
To find my real identity.
*
I walk into a cozy little shop,
Mostly to escape the cold,
I buy some coffee, it’s too hot,
And wait for my past to unfold.
*
The night has fallen, quieting all,
Gentle snow that nipps my skin,
I step on ice, but trip and fall,
And let the snow seal me in.
*
I awake a month later, quite a shock,
As the pallid walls seem to loom,
I hear a soft and gentle hand knock,
As someone quietly enters the hospital room.
*
She kisses my face, and holds me close,
And tells me everything will be alright,
She tells of my medicine’s heavy dose,
And that I’ve put up quite a fight.
*
At first I don’t quite understand,
But then my memory seems to switch on,
My eyes widen and she grabs my hand,
I remember that in a few days I will be gone.
*
I ask the nurse how long I’de have left,
She simply smiles painfully at me,
She tells me I have a week at best,
And reminds me that I have HIV.
*
So now I stare out my frosty window,
On this bitter-cold and sad winter day,
Remembering at last that my name is Joe,
But I am far too weak to kneel down and pray.
*
My breath grows short, too soon for me,
And I think that life’s been so brief,
As I am young, only twenty-three,
And my old-man’s heart cries out for relief.
*
In my poisonous shell, I am cursed,
By a disease for which there is no cure,
As I close my eyes, I fear the worst,
And know that soon I’ll be out of here.