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	On a Journey Through Darkness... Some random thoughts from the disturbed mind of a 18 year old. Remember that not everything should be taken seriously. Read responsibly and responsively.

	...Can at times seems comforting.
	...Can at times seems comforting.


I wonder if it's normal for someone to like the dark. Really, I think it's because I've got kinda light-sensitive eyes, but I really like the dark or just natural sunlight if I can do it. sweatdrop Just today I scared a guy who came into the computer lab, and I had left the lights off so he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw me. xd Lit by the glow of my beautiful computer.... Anyways, right now I just wish I could crawl back into bed and sleep. Or just curl up in the blankets, because it's nice and cool outside. biggrin Unfortunately, there are two reasons I can't do this: Number one, I've got a speech that I have to go give in about three hours and I've barely started writing it. sweatdrop Second, home is about twenty minutes away by car. I also just sort of wish I could painlessly quickly and without my foreknowledge die right now, so I don't have to worry about the rest of my life, y'know? My mom is bothering me about scholarships, and applying for colleges, and I don't wanna. And then there's everything else about adult life, girls, pain, fillings, surgery, needles... Meh, it's not that I have a death wish. That's why I would want it to be without my foreknowledge, because I know I'd fight it if I knew about it. I.Am · Thu Oct 14, 2004 @ 07:30pm · 8 Comments


I.Am Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [07/20/08 10:12am] [06/23/06 07:38pm] [06/09/06 06:07am] [02/10/06 11:36pm] [01/09/06 08:23am] [12/06/05 04:56am] [12/01/05 07:14pm] [10/05/05 01:45am] [09/17/05 07:32am] [09/02/05 07:25pm]

	User Comments: [8]
	User Comments: [8]


	I prefer the night to the day if that counts at all. I love sleeping in and staying up all night. I don't know how you can use the computer in a dark room though, the light from the moniter KILLS. And I understand the whole death thing. I'm doing horrible in math advanced right now, like 60% average and I know my Dad is going to unhinge his jaw and swallow me whole when he finds out. I did a test today and I don't think I got anything. Luckly I'm only in grade 11 so I don't have to worry about university and stuff just yeah. And might I add "phew". Offline Decrepit Faith · Community Member · Thu Oct 14, 2004 @ 08:00pm


	I can't stand being in the dark alone at night. But I love it in the day...then again, my eyes kill me if I'm in the light. Heh, I do that thing with the monitor and dad says, soon you're gonna need glasses. I didn't take him seriously until my eye went from 20/15 to 20/20.... Heh. Yeah. That'd be kinda nice, but, eh. The good things in life are only good because the rest of it is so annoying. I"m serious. College. Don't wanna think of college. Scary place eek But I don't have to worry, I get to stay back a year. Never thought that'd be a good thing. Ug....I was in all honors and then totally went off track, especially in math. I dunno why they put me in honors anyway, I didn't know how to do fractions. Lol, now THAT is stupid. Hey, I definitely like girls. I want to sleep with...erm....right. I meant guys. yes. ninja Pain isn't so bad, fillings aren't so bad, and surgery isn't so bad. Needles aren't either. That's a lie, they're the pits, but eh. You won't get many of those unless you start doing drugs. But yes. I want to curl up and die sometimes, really just go to sleep and never wake up. But I thought it was just my little screwed up brain. Or I wanna just skip forward about ten years, to where I"m out of school, working a good job, and hopefully in love with a very nice man. I don't need to be, but it'd be kinda nice. Mm, but guys and I don't usually get along because I have no clue how to be a girl. So maybe I should just find someone who's gay xd Slump. Slumps really are the pits. Try taking your mind off and having an escape everyday. For me, Gaia has turned into my escape, isn't it pathetic? lol. It gets better though. Offline lymelady · Community Member · Fri Oct 15, 2004 @ 04:14am


	Toxic: It wasn't a really dark room, because it was during the day and the one wall is full of windows. But the curtains were drawn. It was actually just about the perfect lighting. Right now I'm in the dark-No light but the computer, because I don't wanna wake my parents. I'm actually only 17, so I shouldn't have to worry about this stuff.... stressed I had to be soooo smart... Dang it! xp "Hey Lady": I understand exactly what you're saying on the "bad stuff makes the good stuff good." That's something I always had to wonder about heaven, y'know? I mean, if there's no crying, how can there be joy? I've always thought that about homosexuals: That they really just need to find someone who is the opposite gender but acts more like their gender. xd Offline I.Am · Community Member · Fri Oct 15, 2004 @ 08:58am


	Supposedly, heaven is outside of time. THis makes sense to me. If heaven and God are outside of time (Something that beings who exist in time can't begin to comprehend) He can know everything, every choice someone makes, what will happen, etc, etc. Because He can look down the timeline at any point and watch it. All in a split second to us. But then, that's just what I was taught, the heaven beingoutside of time thing. It made sense to me, though. If you're outside of time yet you can view the dimension, you can look anywhere, know anything, and change anything you want to. People still make choices, he's just seen them make them and knows they'll do them and dosen't get in the way. Well, that's just my view. Because that way, we have free will, yet God knows what we'll do, giving it a sorta fate-like connotation. Offline lymelady · Community Member · Fri Oct 15, 2004 @ 10:56pm


	That's the same thing I think about Heaven, but I mean, here on earth the tears make the joys all the sweeter, you know? Offline I.Am · Community Member · Mon Oct 18, 2004 @ 04:41pm


	oh right, I ran offtrack. I think my point was that heaven was timeless and humans can't grasp that concept, not really. how long is it? it isn't long. how short is it? it isn't short. how much time is there to cry? There isn't time. all there is is joy. I can't quite explain it. But on earth, we need times that are sad to have times where we can be happy. If heaven is timeless, I'm not so sure you need any times at all....maybe you're just in a constant state of being. Like christmas everyday, except that it never gets old. it's always the same amount of joy and happiness. Mmm, can't explain. sorry. that'sjust my views, anyway. Offline lymelady · Community Member · Mon Oct 18, 2004 @ 11:46pm


	Eh, I like the idea more that it's sort of a seperate time. The religious view that you will be singing God's praises day and night doesn't sit well with me, you know? I mean, I'm sure He would make you full of joy about it and all, but I don't really like the idea of Him messing with my emotions, you know? Offline I.Am · Community Member · Tue Oct 19, 2004 @ 08:02pm


	I somehow doubt He'd have us singing His praises all day....I feel that our happiness in itself IS singing His praises. But that's just me. Offline lymelady · Community Member · Thu Oct 21, 2004 @ 01:27am

	User Comments: [8]
	User Comments: [8]

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