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wtf?

edit;;

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou. i blew it. i had a chance and i blew it and im afraid youll never talk to me again and im sad and im angry at myself becuase iloveyou. i was gone and i shouldntve been and im sorry and i wish i just couldve come back sooner. im sorry because i blew it and im afraid youll never talk to me again. i know its not a very big deal and we'll all just laugh about it later. but you sounded so. . . dissapointed? i dont know when the next time youll be online is and i dont want it to end this way. i still want to be able to talk to you. i dont want to wait another 3 weeks without you. omg, it wasnt even 3 weeks. it was only one. i cant believe it. one week seemed like 3 when i was unable to talk to you. im sorry. will you forgive me, if you ever talk to me again?

</3

i feel like crap because i think i made you mad. it would hurt me so much if you thought i hated you. i know youve mentioned it, just joking, but still. really, i could never ever hate you. if anything, i adore you with all my heart and wish i could tell you that. muster every ounce of confidence i have, cannonball into the water. maybe be with you. maybe discover something i didnt even know before.

((color me blue; i think i love you))