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So great now my friends, the ones I share with Myckel, think I'm doubting Myckel and being emo. I tried to explain it yesterday, but they still don't get it. I don't doubt he'll tell them it's just the waiting and many dissapointments have wore me down to a point where it's practically impossible to hide my loneliness anymore. They don't understand that I do believe we'll live together. I just doubt his parents will be so obliging as to let it happen before next year when he turns 18. I was unbelievably happy and optimistic the first month or two, but after about the fifth time of him saying he would tell his parents and then not, because something came up or whatever, It just is so hard to be optimistic and happy. I dream everynight that he's already told them and that we live together only to be crushed when in the morning I wake up by myself, again. I'm just worn down, and it takes a lot more effort to put on a smile than it used to.