stand it
I don't know what is going on. It seems like everything with everybody is falling apart. I feel so terrible. So many bad things are happening in all my friends' lives and all I can think about is my problems. I can't stand it anymore. I know he knows what this is doing to me. I'd be better if he would just tell me something for sure. He's says he'll stay and he'll tell his parents, but he's been saying it for about two and a half months now. It would be easier I suppose if I knew what was going on, what he was thinking. I know he's scared, but there must be some other reason he hasn't told them yet. He keeps telling me how wonderful I am, but I find it so hard to believe that I can be this wonderful person if he doesn't to be with me. I thought, when I first found out, he wouldn't want a child. I was so ecstatic when he said yes that even when he kept not telling his parents I was pregnant I never doubted him or feared he'd leave. Now it's like if I want to be near him I have to go to him. It's like if I don't go to him he doesn't want to hold me or anything. Like afterschool today, he barely even acknowledged my prescence until he was leaving. I cried when he went into class, and I tried so hard not to when he drove off. Here at home I can barely hold it back.
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