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i don't kno whether i'm being mean or is this really the end? Like i kno my x-boyfriend is going through a lot, and i wanna be there 4 him but, it's like, when we're 2gether, he go through problems and then we go through problems and i feel that it's not right. Like i wanna be there and not be some play toy every time i see him , like i wanna be happy, like go places, walk around and have a few laughs. And i feel like i'm not getting that. It's like when i can tell he's up set...I feel like oh no what did i do now, it feels like how it is with my parents and it sorta chases me away. It's not like i hate him cuz i don't, it's not like i'm interested in someone else cuz im not, i can't see myself wit someone else, i just wanna be alone, i feel like i don't want any more arguements and misunderstanding, cuz it hurts really bad at times, im tired of us saying painful words that makes us both hurt and my heart can't take but so much. Its like when we would talk and we don't agree wit something towards the other 1's feelings, there's an arguement... he told me once that everytime we would break up, his heart gets harder...and i think mines have 2. I don't like 2 hurt anybody in any way, cuz i'd rather bring a smile. he says i have no feelings 4 him cuz i left him twice in 1 month, but that's not true, i just feel like i need a break cuz i'm getting worn out by the same thing over and over, i hate 2 argue and if i ever get back wit him, i told him like i want it 2b like a fresh new start but who knows. He might just move on, as 4 me i just wanna stay focus on the other important things, like having the most fun while im young and School. After that... The world is mines 3nodding ^_^, so 4 me not 2 feel bad of hurt about the way im handling things, i'ma think positive about things that in the end, everythings gonna work out, plus i don't wanna hurt him anymore than he hurt me. I just hope he stays on the right track in life and not go astray. I'll always keep him in my prayers no matter what, that God keeps him safe and have someone help guide him through the right path, if it wont be me *sigh* well it's 5/25/07, 11:34pm and im about 2 call it a night and go 2 sleep...so this is my closure bye