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06/27/2025
⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚Daily Tarot⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
On the Surface
-----Five of Wands Reversed-----
meaning: conflict, competition, chaos, creative struggle, suppressed tension, internal conflict, resolution through avoidance, disengagement, fatigue
interpretation: i think this card is signifying how resigned i felt while i was hanging out with my friend and co-collaborator. i love her very, very much and i love working with her, but today i was just off. my energy levels are very low, i overslept so my head felt fuzzy and weird. i struggled to focus on our tasks, and found myself drifting to my phone several times while we were working. i made sure to vocalize this, i let her know my energy is off today, and i apologized if my focus wanders. she was completely understanding. i'm really excited about the new project we're working on- we're in the early stages of making a new dating sim- but part of me is anxious because i haven't felt very passionate about my work lately. or much of anything, quite frankly.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
In the Unseen
-----Queen of Swords Reversed-----
meaning: emotional suppression, silencing for the sake of strategy or safety, self-doubt or inner criticism, second-guessing your perspective, may point to being gaslit by masculine structures, grief turned inward, knowing the truth but feeling punished for speaking it.
interpretation: i resonate with this on multiple levels. as stated above, i feel a lot of doubt about my creative energy. i think my most recent professional work has been very uninspired and like i'm just going through the motions. i have decently strong technical skills so i can bring a concept to life regardless of my inspiration levels, but i can see the missing spark behind the work.
i've also written a concept for a horror film recently. it involves some processing of violence i've experienced by men, so that could be where the being gaslit by masculine structures comes from and knowing the truth but feeling punished for speaking it. i'm so tired of holding in my pain, it leaks out through the maze of fractures texturing my soul. i don't know why i keep holding it in- it's not like i was ever spared that level of consideration before being hurt.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
------------closing thoughts--------------
i resonate quite powerfully with this reading, especially with how anxious, scared, and unsure i am about sharing my voice and ideas. i'm afraid of being too much, too loud about the wrong things, misinterpreted, or being wrong. i write out my original ideas, excited to bring them to life, only to reread them the next day and question every word. my art is uninspired, i can see the lack of inspiration, and it haunts me.
i want to shake this feeling off. this is the exact reason why i returned to gaia. i've gone basically radio silent on all my socials after a traumatic event six years ago that left me doubting everything about myself. i've been working so, so, so, hard on rebuilding myself, investing literally all of my time, money, and energy into therapy, medication, and healing. it's been a long process, and it's a bit surreal to acknowledge that things are finally beginning to turn. i can feel the echo of my old self whispering in my mind. i feel the itch to create to no end returning to my fingertips. i want to live because i want to create, and that's what i'm going to do.
i keep saying i'll post my art one day on gaia, so why not post my first piece here. it's a little self portrait i drew in a live art board three or so years ago.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
_ h e l l o _
s a d g i r l . e x e
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
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