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I notice that I use this thing to vent my feelings... well, at least I use it.
September eleventh... those two words strike sorrow in the people of the United States. I, like all people, used to think about the Twin Towers falling to the ground, and the start of a patriotism that we haven't seen in a long time. I now have a new reason to think negatively about these two simple words. September 11, 2007. This is the day that my brother-in-law died. The brother-in-law I didn't even know I had. I think this was the most painful day I'd ever experienced in my life. It's still hard to grasp that concept... even almost 5 months later. Wow... 5 months. I was supposed to spend my September 11th at school, and have a bake sale with my drama company that night during an open house. However, I spent said day in a cold, dreary hospital, waiting for him to die. Those hours hurt, both physically and mentally. I drank more coffee than I ever have in my life, and I don't even like coffee. A gunshot to the head... accidental, but still a gunshot. I couldn't even go in to see him. Sure, I had the chance, but I just... couldn't. I had met him only a few times. I didn't know him too well. For most of their relationship, he was in Iraq, or they lived in North Carolina. They had moved back up here in June, and he had come down about 3 or 4 times. I really liked him... I think I even loved him (as a brother-like figure of course.) I had never had an older brother, and I really liked that he kind of acted like an older brother. It was nice having him around. He was my hero, having done 2 tours in Iraq, and everything that he did. I admired him, and I am such a better person for having known him. I just couldn't bring myself to take the few steps into the room and see him. On life support, he was in such a vulnerable position. Since that day, my sister's been living with us. I don't know how to comfort her, and I have to be careful what I say, so as to not upset her. I just turned 16, and I couldn't even have fun on my 16th birthday. God, I hate my life...
 Sirius Star Child · Fri Feb 08, 2008 @ 03:48am · 0 Comments |
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