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Right now, I'm kind of pissed, and kind of sad.
I won't say who this feeling is from/for because he might know who he is, even though he probably won't read this. But if he does, I want him to find out for himself that this is for him. He acts dense sometimes, but he isn't. He uses that as an excuse to save his sorry a**. He acts like he doesn't care, but I bet he does. Just a little.
I'm mad at him, I'm sorry at him. I'm mad at myself, I'm sorry at myself. I'm mad at him because he takes it all out on me, and hates me because of his own fhking jelousy. I'm sorry at him, because it is my fault he isn't completely happy, because maybe I'm too hard on him when I yell at him. I'm mad at myself for making him unhappy. I'm sorry at myself for letting eveything he says get to me.
I don't want him to hate me anymore. I never wanted this. I don't want to hear another smart-a** comment from his mouth, because I don't know what I'll do. I know I'll either slap him, or break. Maybe both. I know I won't go running to anyone, because that only makes it worse.
I know I'm lucky, and I have 'everything.' But he doesn't know what he has. He's got a lot too. He can't get mad at me for that. I understand where he's coming from, but it's not fair to me. I don't want to fight like this with him anymore.
I'm sorry for everything, but I'm not going to take all the blame. Part of this is his fault, and he better know it. I won't go easy, I'm not like that.
I thought we could be friends.
I don't know if he's going to read this, but if he does he'll probably disregard it. Think it's no big deal, and never give it a second thought. He does that, I'll get pissed even more.
I know this is going to be hard for you, since you are a child [at least, you always act like one] but get the ******** over this. Be somewhat mature, please. This fighting hurts. I don't want this, and I don't think you do either. But, hey, you like conflict, so, maybe you do. But give up on this, if that's the case. Otherwise...... Stop. And please don't hate me anymore.
Yours, Joey
 worthwhile · Fri Jan 05, 2007 @ 10:22pm · 1 Comments |
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