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C.A.L.L it an O.P.I.U.M Part+Three |
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OMG! I updated it! LASTLY! *sighs* Okay... time to go and slack again...
To sustain…
Enough- he had never had enough. From the beginning to were he stood as now- he never had enough. His brother gave him the bitter doubt, forcing the truth upon him. Hate. He had never had enough. Starved from it all while his brother grew stronger, more powerful, growing to only be a bigger obstacle. Hate- he needed more. He fed from a constant river of pain, slowly learning to hate the cause, then proceeded to despise those around him, however that evolved into some else, he soon found that he was driving hate- towards himself. There seemed not be and ending to it all, where he wished to drive his loathe there was some fault he could claw up and take it piece by piece, everything he detested with foul and unfair dispositions. Endless, it was… But no matter how hard he reached out the few beings that crept closer to his heart than he would have liked were a different matter. There was the single firefly, hovering in the lightless night, Sakura, but then there came to be a completely twisted aspect- Naruto. His rival, his friend, a brother and the enemy. He tried, with every fiber strung through his being he tried to drive he same boiling hate towards that character, but prevailing seemed impossible. Any heated feelings the were expressed were never permanent, evanescent moment they came to be for sooner or later the times the hated stood beside him, and how once he even stood up for that obnoxious blonde tasseled beast. To sustain his raging thirst he tore at Naruto with all his might, trying to find some way to throw every ounce of his loathe at that boy, to end the bond for once and for all. But something kept it form being so, and he couldn’t, or better yet wouldn’t come to understand.
He looked down at that character, with an artificial pity he looked down. But it was all mechanical, nothing real. With that damned demon thriving within him, Naruto could some how always rise above. It came to the point he almost found himself looking up to him, and but he only found that to be a trait he hated not the boy, but himself. Yet detest with passion, it came with Naruto’s never dying determination. It was different from Sakura’s persistence, it was driven deeper into this boy’s being, it was something that came as nature, and he didn’t have to try. But when it came to letting him go, Naruto wouldn’t allow it. Couldn’t that thickheaded dope see? He wanted to be pushed away, he didn’t want help, and in the end he wished for silence. But that bloody beast kept on rising up, trying when it was an utter lost cause. Through the silence that hoarded around the mind and ears, he stilled tried to be the voice. A voice first to be muffled and frozen, only to thaw and try to fly higher before coming to a forced halt, clasped by the cold once more. Stop. Why wouldn’t he just give it up?
Just let it go!
....
Nevermore
Whether mortal of some spectral being he conjured himself the words were once spoken- Let it go. Three simple words that awoke another period of Hell within his mind. Let it go? To forsake his one true goal in life? It was a recipe for a broken soul; a pinch of never-to-be-smothered despair, a drop of loss and a cup of self endured hate. To give up was the true definition of Let it go. He would never do that.
But there was hesitation before such a conclusion.
He wouldn’t deny it he was growing weary. Brittle memoirs marked a ghost of a better life. Then he wasn’t alone, and then things weren’t so… numb. Then when tired there was some one to lean on, even though he rarely accepted the help. But never the less, the support was there, and just knowing that became an embrace of placidness. Now, there was, No One.
Who knows, maybe he liked it that way, after all; in the end he denied it- denied a chance to return to a world that offered so much more than bitter success.
 · Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 04:56pm · 0 Comments |
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