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...my life is so ******** up...i hate it ...its like i was just put here to be skrewed around with and laughed at....i dont think i have been truly happy in a long time...i paint this ******** smile i my face so that my parents dont get worried and so that my friends dont freak out....i hate my ******** life....im always cold its like im dieing a lil bit at a time...every day i wake up my heart hurts and it fills like i just have to re start every thing....am i the only one that feels this way....i hate sundays cause im forced to go to church and if i dont go my parents trust me even less then they do now....i want to die!!!! i want to make it easyer for my dad to live...maybe if i wasnt here he wouldnt have his cancer....maybe he would be able to live longer maye my mom wouldnt be drinking maybe my ******** family wouldnt be falling apart at the seams.......god i want to die i just want it all to end .....i hate this so much.....