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So; I've been skipping out on gaia for a long time.
It's getting kinda boring I guess. But you know; I'm guilty for venting my feelings here every once in a while.

A gaia journal; no one would suspect to find some of my deepest secrets and true feelings here.

Friends

Friends are hard to control now. Not like CONTROL but like; maintain?
As in; you go with one friend; you lose the other.
You try to win the other back; and the other one leaves you.

Im mostly concerned with one friend right now; the rest I'm cool with.

If you go to my school you'll know who they are immeadiatley.

One of them is bedridden right now. She has a problem with her back. She recently got surgery and all.

Im her best friend. I have to be there for her. So the night she was sent to the hospital I called her. I cried for her when I found out her condition.
and i've been crying for her even before that.

and recently like 2 weeks ago I cried when she didnt tell me why she cut our connection (Facebook).

Its been so hard to talk to her; I feel like I'm losing her. I'm afraid that she'll think I'm leaving her behind.

Theres just so much to type.

But anyway; besides the bedridden one; this one is just a constant annoyance.

I told myself over and over to just tell her why she pisses you off. But she does these little things like... telling me Im special to her; and that she doesnt trust many; yet she trusts me; that Im just like "screw it"

I dont know what to do.
These two certain girls are my main concern.

You should talk to me.