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No need to feel alone. I am sorry for being so dramatic alot. It is just, things get into my head. I know you know this. I just hope you can understand. I am positive that one way or another something will work in your favor. I wont say goodbye yet. I will keep on holding. I am not as strong. I hope you see that. I am more fragile then some think. Sure I might sometimes have a tough side. But mental and emotionaly...I have nothing to protect myself with. I wish it wasn't I who was always the trouble. I always seem to get in the way of peoples plans or feelings. If it wasn't for me...well you know where you would be. And to be honest I sometimes think you want that. But even though I would do anything for you, I don't think I could go through that again. In my mind, this is all a game. We just need to roll the die right, or draw the right cards. My cards are never so lucky, and with you being here, with me, soon they might fall aswell. I just, I don't want anything to happen to you. I am tired of all the stress that gets put on you, and I know I am most of the reason. I wish I wasn't, but I am. You and I both know this. But time changes, and so do people. Maybe I can finally grow up and stop being the reason for your troubles. I wanna make you happy all the time. Not sad, mad or anything like that. But I always find away to do the opposite of what I truely want. I just hope that things get better. Weather now or later, but either way my patients draw thin, but I promise you I will hold on as long as I can.

~Ashitrute~