Smile until it's over, yes? Keep the grin and play the game. Pretend you are exactly who they want you to be. Lie about your age, name, race, and religion. Lie about your likes and dislikes, pretend you don't care at all. No one matters. Not a person.
Alone.
Modern American dream. It isn't just Americans, though, is it? The whole world is set on "pretend" and no one knows where the "truth" button lies. Maybe it doesn't lie anywhere at all.
Follow the rules, play the game, forget about yourself throughout the day. That is how you live life.
Maybe I ought to write a manual like this. About living life. I'll have to see if that has been done yet.
I suppose I ought to shut up about this at the moment. My brain is dead from playing the game. I stayed up too late last night reading about the Holocaust. Reading about people who had to pretend just to stay alive. People who pretended that things were just about to get better for them, only to die the next day. People who pretended they were okay with dying, only to live on to tell the tale.
Now I am tired and reflecting this attitude in my own life. Maybe I don't live in the constant life-or-death fear for my games, my act, but I still act. There are things I don't want anyone to know. Things I won't tell even you, online, who will never affect me anyways.
Things I would die before mutter. It's funny, really. Things that shouldn't matter, and things that could be changed with "professional assistance." Forgive me, but I don't want someone ******** with my mind, even if they really mean good by it. I'll just stay how I am.
The simple truth of my life is that I lie. I always lie. No one knows who I really am, perhaps not even I. Still, I know myself better than the rest, and I will leave it that way.
That is all for today.
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Glee... my image seems not to work... emo
月に代わってお仕置きよ。