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Where souls disappear...
Only you exist here.
My Afterlife...
Have you ever felt completely depressed, or angry, or perhaps homicidal? Maybe you felt that the world wasn't enough, or that you were not enough for the world. The grass on your side of the fence was dying, and the grass on the other side was already dead. The birds were falling dead from the skies to decorate this lovely scene from your life.

I think most of us have been here. Blood-red skies and soul-black earth, speckled by the brown and white decaying shrubbery and animal life. You feel as hollow as this landscape, and wish to escape it. Or perhaps, wish to die here and join the scenery. Bliss.

Some of you opened you eyes to escape this. You went back to the real world, finding some way to liven your life. Others of you have never left, trapped there as you read this and wondering how I know your inner realms so well. Some will never read this, because they became part of this other side of reality. They gave in, as many may now be considering as well.

I? I sit there dayly, and nightly, and I pretend I am not there. I love my land, and I want to be part of it. I want to live here, and die here. I want to become one with the lovely colors which plague my life, and I want to bleed into the sky. I want to fall and sink and drown under the roots.

But I act. I act like I don't want any part of it. I act like I've never been part of it. I pretend that this land doesn't exist, or plague the colors of the real world around me.

In fact, I must act well, for I have had friends tell me that I am among the happiest people they know. Either I act well, or I really am beginning to enjoy my stay here. The rot is addictive, really. The stench runs into reality, ignored by those who do not sit in this world as well. Not that we could see each other anyways, but because we are all part of the same muck. We can sometimes recognise each other, but only when we don't speak of it. The moment we do speak of it, it vanishes. One of us must be a fake.

Maybe.

So have you been here? Have you seen the melting, the rotting and the death? Have you seen the rabbits eating away at the lungs of the snake which died last night? Have you joined in the feast?

Do you enjoy it?

I hope so, because I am waiting for you.

I will be here for the rest of my life, and when I die... When I die, I will join you in your mind. I will be that rabbit. The snake. I will be there. And you will not be alone. You will have me, and I will have you. You will enjoy this world, and you will follow me through it.

That is my goal.

Join me?






User Comments: [3] [add]
Shuugo2
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 17, 2005 @ 02:50am
Nice words, they touch me, but what exactly are their destiny of expressing, pain?, sorrow?, or being emotionally broken question


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 17, 2005 @ 06:17pm
A little of all of that, really. The whole world of it is emotion. The feeling of beauty in something that isn't supposed to be good; unnatural occurances which could almost be considered evil, but of which one may desire to be part; anger, hurt, pain, depression, loneliness, sorrow... but also, pointing out that I already know I'm not alone. Many people who sink into any form of depression tend to think that they are really alone in this, but I wanted to make sure everyone knew that I know better. I'm not the first, nor am I the last.

Beyond that, not only am I in a depression, but I enjoy it. Morbid enthusiasm, or something of that nature. I am not writing as a call for help, or as one of those sad "I'm going to prove to you that you aren't depressed, because I'm depressed" ploys. This is a calling together. Not for the depressed and the non, and not of all the depressed. No, a smaller calling. A calling for the happily depressed.

I don't necessarily need people running in claiming joyous sorrows or anything. I'm likely not to believe them. As I am sure many won't believe me. Poor cycle of the human minds, and I am not exempt. That hint is out there, though, and now perhaps people can read of a depression to which they relate. Something so perverted and ugly that no one could want part of it, and yet something they long to be.



HotaruTomoeIAA
Community Member
Roger Silverwood
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Jun 20, 2005 @ 01:21am
*Sigh*
So symbolic

So very symbolic


No I'm not there, but it's my next stop. Glad to know I won't be alone
neutral

*Sigh*


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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