Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

You know I never actually realized people read my journal from time to time, somebody asked me today if I am schizo, because one day I am preaching life as perfect with Olivia, the next day, I am making it seem like I am in Hell with total suffering. I am just the kind of person that always looks for answers, even when I know I shouldn't because it's never good. There was a reaosn why she didn't mention anything to me about her parents, and very little about her life before. She knew I would do exactly what I did yesterday, and that is freak out and take everything the wrong way. I kind of pieced together that 5 days of talking is so much better than once a blue moon. I was considering playing "hard to get" but well with Olivia she wouldn't chase after me sadly, she would still make me the spotlight of attention, of entrusting me to make sure we stay in contact and together, which is kind of sad, because a relationship is a two person job, a two way street, a steady building with a scafold while construction of the relationship is being built. And yet I am the only one with the desire and passion to make sure everything goes ok, and to make sure that it doesn't fall apart again. I love her to death, I really do, and well I can't expect her to try to take it on all at once. So I'll deal with the maintance part, hopefully in the future she will make attempts to show me she does want me around.