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well I have one thing to say: LIFE IS PERFECT

Well I know I should have posted something yesterday, but well didn't have time to. I was too being being in love, and having my life finally fall back into place. If you don't already know from either talking to me on here or outside of this site(yes there is a world outside of Gaia, scary right. xp ) Me and Olivia started to really talk more as of last week, when she e-mailed me and we started to do sort of like a free response questions to each other, like "What's your favorite band, movie, worst fear in life, best memory,etc.." Nothing bad it's not like I said to her: "so what sexual dreams do you have, or what do you do on a lonely night with nothing to do wink " lol you all know I am not that kind of sick "guy". And she knows that too, even though right now she wants a guy that will only want her for sex for some reason, as well as hopefully love her. But I am working on fixing that with her, so that she has normal flow of thoughts, I know that teen years are the hardest to get through being that you get really horny and want sex so badly throughout it all, I've been in this teen thing for 4 years now. lol I know how she feels.

But well just two days ago, hence Wednesday. She e-mailed me as always, and well this time she told me to e-mail her back on her AOL screename. She isn't stupid she knows that I know she blocked me, but at this point I could careless, I understand why we can't do IM's and I don't want to get her in trouble with her parents again, I actually want to be with her, even if it has to be a secret from the world. I missed her so much, I am sure you will all remember how heart broken I was, and what a hard time I went through, with letting go.

Anyways back to Wednesday, well she was feeling very upset so I offered her a hug, and she took it, and knocked knocked the friendship wall down very quickly after that, I mean she first asked if it's ok that she still loves me. Of course it's ok, lol I've always wanted her to still love me. So yeah I got through that, still wondering if it's a joke she is playing on me. And well from there her and I did some major flirting, talking about how much we missed each other, how our feelings never went anywhere. How unfair and unperfect life has been without each other. I basically spent two days of my life, and they have been the happiest I've ever had, since I moved her to Florida last July.

I love her so much, I really do, you all know that I did, especially with how long it took me to finally get over and realize that it's over, and attempt to at least move on, so that my heart doesn't ache of pain any longer. But well I don't care what happened. She is the only girl I could picture myself with, the only girl that I would want to be with forever, to kiss, hold, love, and be with.

She is so beautiful, later on I'll post up her new pictures, or I might not, don't really know if I want to expose her pictures, she has friends everywhere, so maybe it's not a good idea at all. Well it's ok, she is beautiful, the only problem is that she doesn't see herself beautiful, or worth it. She feels I could do much better, but at the same time, she doesn't want me to be with another girl, she wants me to be with her so badly, which then leads her to get alittle upset at the thought that maybe I'll leave her, and she begins to be beg me never to let go of her again. I mean I feel the same way, about how I look, and not being worth it. But being with a girl like Olivia, I have to consider the thought that maybe the "ugly" Khalil ceased to exist after NYC, and the "decent, semi-good looking" Khalil emerged up in Florida.

She does find me extremely attractive and even more desirable. Just like I feel the same way about her, so well at least we are extremely attracted to each other, as well as still being in love, and as of right now, I think we are more deeper in love then we began, and its actually so deep that our words aren't good enough to express it, even "I love you" doesn't seem to really put out our emotions, but we still say it to each other, a bunch of times, because the word just blurts out.

I am way past thinking that this is a fluke, we are actually sort of back together, I mean we want to be with each other, we discuss us being together, we aren't really rushing anything, I mean it's not like we are talking about marriage and moving some place else, or anything like that, just basic talking about our wants and desires as well as the time we'd spend together and all that. Normal stuff, I don't know if I should ask her out, seeing on how I feel like we just were on a break in a way, and sort of picking up where we left off. But well I know she will question it at some point, she asked me a few times in the past through make up AIM screenames and sometimes straightforward if I am her boyfriend and she is my girlfriend. So yeah I am not really sure if she is still going to "test" me, but I am ready for anything. I just hope her parents don't involved, yes we all remember what happened last time her parents got involved. And it left Olivia with a sense of guilt that she is doing something wrong, but I think at this point she could careless about her parents, especially her dad, I am beginning to develop an undying hatred for him. He made my sweetie cry so hard yesterday when he whispered something in her ear, I wish I knew what it was, but well she won't open up to me and tell me what it was, she says that it doesn't matter anymore, because remember one day we will be together and she doesn't have to deal with him anymore. Just her and I.

and well I think he slippped her a sleeping pill last night, because it was only 8 p.m. when she said she was super tired and wanted to go to bed. I don't know, all I know is that she just felt so tired, or so she claimed, I mean I saw her log on after she signed off, twice, I am not sure if she was going to e-mail me something, and wanted me to get off, but well I took the hint after the thrid time, but I didn't get any e-mails this morning, so I guess my theory was wrong. Whatever. lol doesn't matter.

So yeah if you have noticed I haven't been on that much, it's because of me talking to her as much as I could for the past two days, I really do miss us being able to talk all night long, but then again that was summer time, she didn't have things to do each day, and her friends were all school related, the only friend she had was Viki, but well I never met Viki, just seen her comment her Myspace at one point.

So yeah life is just perfect. she is out with her friends tonight, I really miss her, but well I'll be ok, I mean I love her, I am extremely happy that she isn't putting her life on hold for me, we sort of ran into that problem last time, and in a way that's how she drew attention to herself with her mother, because she noticed her on the computer all the time, and all night long and all that. So we are playing it safe, and not doing anything to draw attention to ourselves, as well as she doesn't know about me anymore, hopefully she totally forgotten about me.

Anyways well yeah just thought I would do my update, I know it's Friday, so what its still an update. TTYL