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February 26, 2005
Okay, to all the comments. I can't dump Kaz because I'm not even going out with him, I'm going out with Josh. I'm just tired of Kaz treating me like this, with the blocking and not inviting me to his chats and stuff. I'm pretty sure he's said bad things about me behind my back to people in the past, because his friends sure don't like me. Some of it could be stuff I did, but I don't think that's the whole thing. I dunno. I don't like not knowing what's going on in the chats and stuff, and I don't like it that everyone else in the guild gets to go to them but me. Even Jon and Rico are invited, and they make fun of Kaz behind his back all the time. They say horrible things, make racist jokes, make screen names that look like his and pretend to be him, saying stupid things. I don't even do that stuff, even though I'm mad at him. I love him, but yet I'm the one he won't talk to. Anyway last night I had a very bad dream. I was sitting on a bed and there was some girl there and she said I should leave and I asked why and she said so she and Kaz could use it and it just freaked me out really bad, I jumped on her and screamed at her that I was Kaz's girlfriend and I was about to kill her or something when I woke up, my heart going a mile a minute and I was shaking. That is the worst dream I have ever had. I am so scared that he's going to find another girl. And Josh barely talks to me. He didn't call me today and only talked to me a tiny bit online. He called me yesterday but only after I'd called him to tell him I couldn't go with him anywhere this weekend. And the days before that he hadn't called. Anyway today I went to visit my family in Miami. I wish it coulda been next weekend as I had plans with Josh and Stephanie this weekend and now I've had to put them off until next weekend. But it was my granddad's birthday and he's really old so we had to come this weekend. Heh it was funny we had steak for dinner and when no one was looking their cat, Bob, stole my cousin Chelsea's steak. They caught him with it and put it in the kitchen but later Bob and the dog, Lucky ended up finding it again and eating it. It was so funny cause the cat had the whole piece of steak hanging from his mouth.
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