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Gosh, I hate this. I hate this feeling of being alone. Why doesn't anyone seem to understand it? They say to suck it up and move on. And, I'm trying... I really am... but it's so hard for me. I want to be friends, I want to talk to him... but he wouldn't give me the time of day if I tried huh? Why do all these memories still plague me? I just... I long for that warm, tight hug, that sweet smell. It's like I can never shake it. I'll walk somewhere and something's going to remind me and... it makes me miss him so much. Gosh, I just... want... to get over it... and let it go.... is that too much to ask? I keep waiting for that perfect little ending where I wake up and find out all this torture is a lie. I want to be held again, I want to laugh with him again, I want to have secrets with him that only the two of us know about and that we can joke about later. I want... that little ending, and I'm so ready to wake up. All these people that say well go ahead and move on, you can do it; do you KNOW how hard that is?! I want you to have your heart ripped out, some of your closest memories taken and then you do it! You don't have my personality nor my feeilngs, nor this event, so how do you have the right to tell me to suck it up and move on. If I just want to wallow in grief right now, let me, you don't control my life. But, I wish I controlled his.
 wolf ie · Sun Jan 28, 2007 @ 03:10pm · 0 Comments |
