MMkay.
So one day, there was this bird who lived in New York. Now, this bird, his name was Arnold. He wondered to himself, "Why ******** am I named Arnold?! Everyother bird is named Tweety or some s**t!" He got all angry and stuff because his momma named him Arnold. 'Course he was a pidgeon and he thought he was all ghetto and stuff. So instead of hangin' out on a statue of Abe Lincoln and shatting all over his face ever six seconds, Arnold went and joined a gang. The gang was based out of a little town in Mexico called Tiajuana. 'Course to get there, he'd have to fly.
Arnold hated flying 'cause he thought he was all gangsta like, so instead he hijacked himself a bicycle. Well actually, he justed landed on the bicycle rider's head and pecked at his eardrums till the guy rode to California. After he got to California, Arnold had to figure out how to get across the border 'cause Mexico hates California because their governer isn't from there.
Arnold dressed up all commando like in camo and swam across the Rio Grande carrying a machine gun. The Mexican Feds saw Arnold and thought that Canada was totally like trying to take them over, so they launched a nuclear bomb and Britian cause the guy pushing the buttons didn't know what he was doing. By this time, Arnold was up in Tiajuana and hijacking televisions and s**t with his new gang.
Britian totally decided to bomb Mexico back and they lauched a oil carrier filled with bombs but it got hit by an iceburg in it's attempt to navigate the Artic Circle. 'Course it blew up and blew the living hell outta Canada and Greenland and Iceland. So they got all pissy and bombed Britian.
The British prime minister blamed it on terrorists in Venezuela so he mailed the president a homemade bomb in a microwave.
It blew him all to s**t and the British prime minister had cleverly put Anthrax in the bomb. So it spread all over killing everybody in South America. It then spread to Cuba and into the cigars, so all the men over fifty died and into the coffee beans, so everyone else died a slow painful death by watching everone's flesh rot off their bodies. In the end, everyone croaked.
Well, not everyone. There was those few that didn't die, but they couldn't bury all the dead people quick enough so methane built up in the atmosphere. Then one of the survivors lit a cigarrete and totally blew the entire planet all to hell. Except Arnold, 'cause he's just that gangsta.
The moral: Don't name a bird Arnold.
So one day, there was this bird who lived in New York. Now, this bird, his name was Arnold. He wondered to himself, "Why ******** am I named Arnold?! Everyother bird is named Tweety or some s**t!" He got all angry and stuff because his momma named him Arnold. 'Course he was a pidgeon and he thought he was all ghetto and stuff. So instead of hangin' out on a statue of Abe Lincoln and shatting all over his face ever six seconds, Arnold went and joined a gang. The gang was based out of a little town in Mexico called Tiajuana. 'Course to get there, he'd have to fly.
Arnold hated flying 'cause he thought he was all gangsta like, so instead he hijacked himself a bicycle. Well actually, he justed landed on the bicycle rider's head and pecked at his eardrums till the guy rode to California. After he got to California, Arnold had to figure out how to get across the border 'cause Mexico hates California because their governer isn't from there.
Arnold dressed up all commando like in camo and swam across the Rio Grande carrying a machine gun. The Mexican Feds saw Arnold and thought that Canada was totally like trying to take them over, so they launched a nuclear bomb and Britian cause the guy pushing the buttons didn't know what he was doing. By this time, Arnold was up in Tiajuana and hijacking televisions and s**t with his new gang.
Britian totally decided to bomb Mexico back and they lauched a oil carrier filled with bombs but it got hit by an iceburg in it's attempt to navigate the Artic Circle. 'Course it blew up and blew the living hell outta Canada and Greenland and Iceland. So they got all pissy and bombed Britian.
The British prime minister blamed it on terrorists in Venezuela so he mailed the president a homemade bomb in a microwave.
It blew him all to s**t and the British prime minister had cleverly put Anthrax in the bomb. So it spread all over killing everybody in South America. It then spread to Cuba and into the cigars, so all the men over fifty died and into the coffee beans, so everyone else died a slow painful death by watching everone's flesh rot off their bodies. In the end, everyone croaked.
Well, not everyone. There was those few that didn't die, but they couldn't bury all the dead people quick enough so methane built up in the atmosphere. Then one of the survivors lit a cigarrete and totally blew the entire planet all to hell. Except Arnold, 'cause he's just that gangsta.
The moral: Don't name a bird Arnold.
![[[Dan the Man]]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/c7/1f/60512e72d1fc7.png?t=1204297207_6.00_00 "[[Dan the Man]]")
Community Member
and how the hell did you get access to the top secret files on response strategies in the event of war breaking out with greenland? do you know what'll happen if the venezuelans find out about this? they'll bomb russia as long as it takes to dislocate my 5th and 6th vertebrae, and they won't care how many puerto ricans die in the process... crying
and that microwave bomb technology is classified. if jamaica finds out, they'll be mass producing poor quality copies in no time and we'll lose our corner in the market. mad
this story practically amounts to treason. i've a good mind to send in the teletubbies to interrogate you... evil