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Well, today was supposed to have been my anniversary. But sadly, because of me messing it up, it's not. I can only stop and think on it now, for there's nothing I can do to change what's happened and how we both feel now. It makes me sad to think that I can't get my mind off him and he doesn't care at all. I wish so bad that I had handled that situation better than I did, but... I didn't. So now I'm receiving what I am supposed to have.
For those of you that's asked, yes, I have been 'punishing' myself. I haven't really eaten and didn't eat for four days straight. Sad, I know, but it was a mindset thing that I needed to do to myself. I'm still not 'hungry' But, I'm making myself eat now at least.
It's funny how I've found my real friends through this terrible act of events. The ones that are there for me and the ones that will always side with me. I truly appriceat them and want them to know how much they mean to me, especially now. For, without my friends, I don't know what I would have done or how I would have gotten through this.
To him:
For you to make up your mind 'that' easily and that quickly over just one thing then you were never worth my time in the first place. When you said you loved me, that meant you loved 'me'. IT meant you loved everything about me, but I guess that was a lie huh? You said you'd love me forever, I guess forever came a lot sooner than we all thought right? Wow, what a loser I was for believing every lie fed to me. I want it back, I want it ALL back. I want the heart back that you took. I want the first experiences back that I want to share with someone else. Thank you, for teaching me about who you really are. I'll know better next time.
 wolf ie · Sat Jan 20, 2007 @ 04:19pm · 1 Comments |
