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I feel alone, broken and lost. The only person I truely and deeply Love isn't sure if she loves me anymore...well she says she loves me just not as a boyfriend anymore. She says its been building up in her over a couple of months. I know I've hurt her and I don't know exactly how much I've hurt her, but I want to make it better I really do. I don't want her to leave "us". I'll compromise, I look at her view more often, hell I'll even be selfish if she wants, I'll do literally anything to have her back. I know it's only been a year, but that year has been the best year I could ever remember. I know we've fought, but we worked it out. Or I thought we did. I don't want to hurt her, and she said she wanted some time to get her thoughts straight. I'll wait forever for her, but it hurts so much to think if she starts dating someone else. It's not that I'm jelouse, it's because I Love her so much!! I don't think she even knows how much she means to me. She says she wants to be my friend, do you know how much that tears me up to hear? No boyfriend wants to hear those words. I will be her friend, but every day I will hurt. Every day I will cry after seeing her, knowing that we were "one" before. I Love her so much. I'll compromise, I'll be selfish, I've told her I would change to get her back, and for some reason she thinks that's low. The things we've argued about in the past were not that important enough to me to have us break up over. I do trust her friends, I honestly do. I just needed time to think about a lot of things, I was going to tell her on friday, but she acted like something was wrong so again I put her frist and tried to help. Now, I don't even know what to feel, I cried last night til it hurt. I'm still all shakey and depressed because I don't know what to think. I'll give her as much time as she needs to figure things out...I'll always be here for here waiting. I will ALWAYS Love her. Anything at all to be hers again. We can start fresh if she wants, from the very beggining. God, I Love her so much!! I feel like crying again, but crying isn't going to bring her back. I don't know what to do.
 Phoenix Maristat · Sat Feb 19, 2005 @ 01:48pm · 5 Comments |
