If you are confused by what is happening, don’t worry I’m going to go back in time after this one.
A month had pasted by us already. Couples had bloomed since then, but everyone seemed on edge for the one that hadn’t started yet.
Somehow wiL and me ended up alone, sitting on a bench together. It was the first time that we really alone. There was no one around us, no not a soul. Between the small talk, we could hear the wind blowing. Finally wiL broke the silence and obscenities.
wiL: Claire, there is something I have to say. I’ve been trying to, wanting to tell you for so long.
Me: Huh?! (( I could feel the pink rushing to my cheeks))
wiL: you aren’t making this easy, huh? Well, Claire, I really can’t explain it, this feeling, this emotion, every time I think about you or see you. my heart is just pounding out of my chest even now. Feel!
He grabbed my hand placing it on his heart, it was beating faster and faster.
wiL: I find myself tripping over my words, barely being able to talk. I should just come out and say it, Claire,
I Love You!
I just froze, the red was there, but my mouth refused to move. I know The Family told me he did, but I never believed it, not once. Oh, those butterflies of doubt came swarming into my head like moths to the flame. He being who he is, and me, ugly, horrible and terrible me. With the all the places he had been, all the girls he had seen why me? I’m nothing special. But all this was thought within the period of 3 seconds or less. wiL just remained silent, he had put his heart on the line, and I couldn’t even move my mouth. Finally he looked at me.
Me: I, I, I, I, I’m afraid.
I had blown it, I just looked away refusing to talk anymore. After all the times, I had refused to say to just Sami, not even to myself, had I lost the ability to say it altogether.
wiL: Of what? Tell me! There is nothing to be afraid of.
I just kept silent. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I just couldn’t.
wiL: so you don’t love me. I thought so ((he said brokenhearted)). Or really, I knew deep down you didn’t. I had just had this feeling I couldn’t shake. But I decided to ignore it, and just follow my heart. To what I see now is its demise. I am sorry to have bothered you.
wiL got up and began to walk away.
I grabbed wiL’s hand and put it against my cheek.
me: wiL! Don’t give up on me! PLEASE! Don’t give up on me so quickly! Please, wiL! Please! Not so quickly. ((I was crying, I was weeping. I couldn’t stop, the tears just kept falling)).
wiL’s eyes were already softened and glossy; it seemed as if he was fighting back tears.
wiL: I don’t think I can. I think it’s the only way. I have to let you go.
He said as he pulled his hand way. He began to run and never looked back.
Me: WIL!
I just fell to the floor, crying. I couldn’t stop, it was uncontrollable. I cried so intensely, I started to gag. And when the gagging stopped, the crying just became worse.
I whispered between the tears, “I, I, I Love…”
I was losing strength, and the tears just fell
harder.
How could this have happen?
Just let me fade back.
Somehow wiL and me ended up alone, sitting on a bench together. It was the first time that we really alone. There was no one around us, no not a soul. Between the small talk, we could hear the wind blowing. Finally wiL broke the silence and obscenities.
wiL: Claire, there is something I have to say. I’ve been trying to, wanting to tell you for so long.
Me: Huh?! (( I could feel the pink rushing to my cheeks))
wiL: you aren’t making this easy, huh? Well, Claire, I really can’t explain it, this feeling, this emotion, every time I think about you or see you. my heart is just pounding out of my chest even now. Feel!
He grabbed my hand placing it on his heart, it was beating faster and faster.
wiL: I find myself tripping over my words, barely being able to talk. I should just come out and say it, Claire,
I Love You!
I just froze, the red was there, but my mouth refused to move. I know The Family told me he did, but I never believed it, not once. Oh, those butterflies of doubt came swarming into my head like moths to the flame. He being who he is, and me, ugly, horrible and terrible me. With the all the places he had been, all the girls he had seen why me? I’m nothing special. But all this was thought within the period of 3 seconds or less. wiL just remained silent, he had put his heart on the line, and I couldn’t even move my mouth. Finally he looked at me.
Me: I, I, I, I, I’m afraid.
I had blown it, I just looked away refusing to talk anymore. After all the times, I had refused to say to just Sami, not even to myself, had I lost the ability to say it altogether.
wiL: Of what? Tell me! There is nothing to be afraid of.
I just kept silent. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I just couldn’t.
wiL: so you don’t love me. I thought so ((he said brokenhearted)). Or really, I knew deep down you didn’t. I had just had this feeling I couldn’t shake. But I decided to ignore it, and just follow my heart. To what I see now is its demise. I am sorry to have bothered you.
wiL got up and began to walk away.
I grabbed wiL’s hand and put it against my cheek.
me: wiL! Don’t give up on me! PLEASE! Don’t give up on me so quickly! Please, wiL! Please! Not so quickly. ((I was crying, I was weeping. I couldn’t stop, the tears just kept falling)).
wiL’s eyes were already softened and glossy; it seemed as if he was fighting back tears.
wiL: I don’t think I can. I think it’s the only way. I have to let you go.
He said as he pulled his hand way. He began to run and never looked back.
Me: WIL!
I just fell to the floor, crying. I couldn’t stop, it was uncontrollable. I cried so intensely, I started to gag. And when the gagging stopped, the crying just became worse.
I whispered between the tears, “I, I, I Love…”
I was losing strength, and the tears just fell
harder.
How could this have happen?
Just let me fade back.
