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I haven't really gotten the chance to update that much, I've been busy with the holiday season and all. I'm supposed to be looking for a new job, but I don't think I'm able to. Unfortunately, I don't have a car or license (my parents don't ever want me to drive because they're afraid I'll leave -_-. I just want to run my errands to the grocery store and McDonalds!!! scream )Not to mention everyone is out of the house during the day, with school and work, so I'm the only one who stays here. I'm home 24/7, no joke. But it's not like I can get a job or do anything else because I have to stay here to take care of the house. I've become so insignificant and unimportant that I've been reduced toa 24 hour house maid. -_- cry I have a feeling I'm never going to leave this town....

I've been eating a lot more than usual lately. Like, I spend the whol day eating, and nothong fills me up. And then when it gets to be night, I'm sick all night. Maybe I need to start eating health food. I've been having breathing problems lately. It feels like My throat is too small and my lungs are being cruched by my ribs, feeling like i have no room to breath....a tightening in my chest. But I'm trying not to use my inhaler so much or esle i'll get dependent on it every time i have trouble breathing. I'm the last one in my family who ever gets any health care. I haven't been to a doctor in 4 years, so if something really bad happens I'm screwed. gonk

My birthday is tomorrow, the 5th. I'll be 19. But it feels more like I'm going to be 15, lol. I don't look or feel like i'm 19, lol. I don't think it's going to be great...no friends to celebrate anything with...just my family. Although I think they are aware of the pain I've been in lately, so I have a feeling they just might go the extra mile to make this one special for me. 3nodding

One person wished me a happy birthday...it was really nice of him considering i hadn't heard from him in quite some time.

I doubt Shingo will even send me an e-mail or anything. i'm starting to really regret staying with him...Well, i guess instead of asking to break up (cuz he always ignores that question, like it will only happen on his terms), since he never talks to me anyway, it should be easy just to forget the whole thing and just stop talking to him altogether. this should be a piece of cake considering i never hear from him more than once a month, if that. But i promise, after this, I won't be in another relationship again. Single and not looking is the way to be for me (besides, I don't have the heart to condemn someone to be with botton-of-the-barrel material like me when they can do SO much better wink )

I'm finding Gaia to be...not so friendly. So many people on here are so a**l...kinda likea band nazi, or a grammar nazi. Except they're all anime-type nazis. I came here looking for friends (since I don't have any in real life), but I guess I'll have to look elsewhere. I'm still thinking about it, but I think I might quit Gaia soon. It's a nice site, really, but there's too many unfriendly folks out there who ruin the fun for everyone else who wants to have fun.