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as I laid curled up on the little couch in the living room, with my rather loud little brother, and my father wandering around, making disturbing, loud noises, I still find myself in a tiny world of my own. A tiny bubble where I am all alone. It's so warm and quiet. No disturbing noisses, no ridiculous thoughts, no loneliness. Even though I'm all alone, I actually enjoy it a whole lot. And couldn't imagine myself half as happy with anyone else. No other's to have to think about to pay attention to. No risk of hurting anyone. just, alone with my thoughts, my dreams and my imagination. sitting inside a tiny bubble of security and happiness. Though, eventually that bubble had to break, and I would once again stand in a huge, cold, dark reality. What makes it so dark, cold and cruel? I have no idea. I have no real reason to complain. But the cries, complaints and hurt looks of all those others in this damned world make me ache all over. Make me wish I could help. Or at least, make them shut up. I wish I could look away, close my eyes, my ears... my heart.
I wish I could be left alone. I have no need of others hovering over me, disturbing my peace. I am sorry if I sound cruel and egoistic or anything. But I'm so fed up with all the cries and complaints. Especially, when I can do nothing to make it better...