Have you ever watched a flame? I don't care if it were a candle flame, or a neighborhood burning to the ground. Did you enjoy it?
I love flames. I am a candle freak. I could spend hours in front of a lit candle, just watching the burn. Actually, I've done that before.
I used to burn paper, too, in little strips above the flames. However, when family complained of the smell of things burning, I had to stop, lest they found out that I endangered them with my burning habits. I still miss it.
I imagine bigger things burning. Metals, papers, buildings. Nothing I will likely ever see in reality.
I have also imagined what it would be like to burn alive. I know what I imagine can be nothing close to the reality, but I make the vision nonetheless. I was once burned by a candle flame I rolled on top of, so I first relive that pain in my mind.
I then spread that pain. From my arm to my hand and shoulder, to my chest, to my neck and face and down... down slowly to my feet. Before I get that far, however, I begin adding the pain below the skin. Bruised and bleeding, burning away, and the smell. My lungs turning to blackened tar, the smell being nothing but a memory as my throat melts and scars.
I imagine my pains disappearing and my mind going numb, as everything falls silent but for the slight sizzle of my flesh. My eyes can no longer see, and my face is a total mess. I have the permanant grin of the dead in flame, and the rest of my body is melting and bending into the same design of the grave.
I am lying in bed, perfectly healthy. I am normal. Perhaps that is what friegtens me: I, my thoughts and body, are perfectly normal. I am glad to know that I am in the majority.
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Glee... my image seems not to work... emo
月に代わってお仕置きよ。