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Chapter Two

KureiNeko slowly opened her eyes to an unfamiliar place. She shot up, eyes wide.

"Holy Shih Tsu! Where am I?!" "Heh...Looks like she woke up, Zetsu-san!" KureiNeko looked to see where the voice came from. She saw a little kid in a mask with one eyehole.

"Oh! Tobi! Hi!!" She smiled, waving at him. She got out of the bed and walked over to Zetsu.

"Can I hug you?"

"Can I eat you?"

"No..."

"There's your answer..." KureiNeko then went off to sulk in the corner from not getting to hug Zetsu. She sulked for several minutes until she stood up and walked over to Tobi.

"Tobi is a good boy!" she said, grinning like an idiot while patting Tobi on the head. Tobi tensed up, forcing a smile that could not be seen because he was wearing an orange mask with swirlies on it and one eyehole. She then turned back to Zetsu.

"What tiiime is it?"

"10:30 A.M."

"WHOO! BREAKFAST TIME! Milk and cereal! Milk and cereal! Milk and cereal! Cereal and milk! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Trix are for kids! Trix are for kids!" Then she happily skipped out the door. Tobi and Zetsu stared at each other, too freaked out to say anything. After a while, Tobi spoke up.

"Zetsu-san? What's a Cocoa Puff?"

KureiNeko wandered around the hideout looking for the kitchen. She opened a door, completely oblivious to the sign that said: "Akatsuki Leader's Lair" As soon as she walked in, darkness enveloped her. A pair of eyes gleamed and stared straight at her.

"Who's there..." a voice breathed. KureiNeko said nothing as she slowly crept around the room, feeling for a light switch. She could find none. After a few minutes, her eyes adjusted to the dark. She could make out the back of an Akatsuki member. She grinned, ran at full speed and glomped the person, knocking them down.

"YONDAIME-SAMA!!!!" she shrieked with joy. Before the Leader knew what happened, he was being dragged out into the burning light. Once out of the dark room, KureiNeko let the Leader fall to the ground, who was a swirling mass of confusion. KureiNeko stooped down to his eye level and grinned.

"Can I join you guys?" The Leader, once regaining conscious, stood up and glared at her.

"First of all, why should I let you join...? And second, what skills and attributes do you posses?" KureiNeko thought for a moment before getting a smirk on her face.

"The reason you should let me join is because I could reveal your secret identity to the entire Naruto universe, causing the downfall of the Akatsuki. In answer to your second question, I posses my precious Akatsuki cloak and... THIS!" She pulled out her Itachi Weasel Doll and showed it to the Leader.

"Isn't it cuute? It's evil intimidating glare is so adorable!" she said, nuzzling the doll. The Leader was very freaked out by now.

"Anything else...?" he asked, afraid of what was to come. KureiNeko stopped what she was doing, put the doll away and turned around, showing him the Curse Mark on her neck.

"Oh yeah! There's also this spiffy tattoo that I mysteriously acquired. It hurts when I touch it. See?" She touched it.

"Ow!"

The Leader glared at the Curse Mark.

"We do not allow any Orochimaru supporters here..."

"But, but..." KureiNeko sniffled.

"No." KureiNeko frowned and disappeared, reappearing in a split second behind the Leader, gripping his neck.

"Let me join..." she growled, gripping tighter, eyes glowing yellow.

"Let me join or die..."

"Urk...okay, fine...You can join..." KureiNeko brightened and immediately let go.

"Yay! I get to live with the Akatsuki!" She then happily skipped down the hall, leaving the Leader feeling afraid. Very afraid.

She walked down the hall, humming 'Fighting Dreamers'. Once she found the kitchen she got a bowl, some cereal she never heard of and sat down at a table. Itachi and Touya also happened to be there.

"Hey Touya, Hey Itachi..." she said, eating the cereal. Normally, she would be really excited but right now all she wanted to do was eat. Itachi didn't even notice, while Touya stiffened and started shaking.

"I-Itachi-sama...?" he asked with fear.

"What is it now, Touya...?" he replied, annoyed. Touya gulped, shaking with fear.

"Th-there's a-a girl here..."

"Is that so...?" he said, lazily looking toward KureiNeko.

"Huh...You're right...There is a girl here...Oh well...Doesn't matter..." Itachi turned back to whatever he was doing.

"B-but, Itachi-sama.... G-girls...they slap...a-and it hurts a lot..." Itachi sighed and turned towards Touya.

"What are you going to do if you have to face a girl in battle...?" he asked. Touya responded in a meek voice.

"Run away..." Itachi sighed again and turned away.

"Baka..." he muttered. Touya shrunk down in his seat, terrified.

Once KureiNeko had finished eating, she burst out in excitement.

"Hey, are you guys in a ‘relationship’?” She grinned. Poor Touya, at the sound of her voice jumped and screamed. Itachi turned toward her to answer.

"Relationship? What relationship? He's just my slave..." he answered boredly. KureiNeko nodded, thought for a moment and then her eyes brightened.

"Oh, so you mean the kind of 'slave' that Sasuke is to Orochimaru-sama?" She took out a recorder, grinned and pressed 'Play'.

Click.
It's day three here at Orochimaru's mansion. I haven't even learned anything. So far, all the baka snake's done every day is come into my room, with that stupid perverted grin. Then, he has the nerve to put his filthy hand on my face. He tells me that "You will get power as long as you do what I say". I stay still, frowning. He smirks. There is pain for a moment and I black out. After what I think is a few hours I wake up, sweating with a pounding headache. That's what it's like everyday. Wait, I think I hear footsteps. He's coming to do it again. I have to go.
Click.

Itachi stared at the recorder, disturbed. Touya stared as well. Both were speechless. KureiNeko grinned even wider.

"Well, I have to go ask Yondaime-sama something. See ya!" Once she had left, Touya picked up the recorder.

"Can we listen to it again?"

KureiNeko walked up into the Leader's lair and threw the door open.

"YONDAIME-SAMA!!! CAN I GO ON A SUPER SECRET S-RANKED MISSION TO CAPTURE THE KYUUBI???" she yelled. The Leader winced and plugged his ears. When would this torture end?!

"Fine, fine...just go away..."

"HOOORAY!" she yelled. She started walking out the door before she realized something.

"Can you drive me to Konohagakure?" she asked.

"WHY?!" the Leader yelled.

"Because I can't drive yet and it's a really really long walk."

"GAH! FINE! JUST GO AWAY!!!" he yelled.

Throughout the drive, KureiNeko insisted that they listen to Linkin Park, Green Day, etc. and to make things worse, she sang along with it. The Leader, on the brink of insanity, banged his head continuously, causing them to crash through the gates and skid through the streets, fortunately stopping right in front of the Academy. KureiNeko calmly got out of the car.

"Arigatou, Yondaime-sama! Good luck getting back!" she said, running into the building. The Leader groaned, disappeared in smoke and left the wrecked car there for the clueless villagers to worship.