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My phyciotriest is worried about me, just because I painted my nails back...
she thinks im going emo even thou I sometimes act like if I am...
even thou I am feeling down alot....
I continue getting flash backs of what happens and I start to cry in my room, or where ever I am, I sometimes start to shake, and I feel like if my mom doesnt understand me.....
I dont want to lie about what happened but neither do I want to say it.......
I feel like if I lost everything....
I lost the person that I loved because of the reason I was ascared to tell him, but when we broke up......
I felt bad that I didnt give him a reason why, so I made it up, I told him that my dad had said that we could be together.....
Even thou it was a lie....
Its just that I was scared of what had happened.....
but then i found myself telling him anyways.......
But I think he hates me now since now he is with someone else......
I feel foolish....that just becuase I was scared that he would hate me....I decide to end it with out knowing what would happen......
But what can I do now, the only person thats been helping me pass this is Ruben, and now I think that Nick will help me to.
I just hope I find the person to like me for me.....and to accept me, even for what happened.......
I have so many problems...but im know im not the only one.....
I sometimes ask myself if I should continue going?
Can I handle this and move on?
Even thou now the incedent is part of my life, and I cant erase it....all I can is move one fowered, and probably bury the past with every happy moment that is happing now.....
I just hope that after all the darkness, I can finally brake thou to the light.....