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So, I had an AWESOME talk with my Mom coming back from the relatives' today. Well, I talked her ear off mostly, but she's really a lot smarter than I give her credit for. Or have given her credit for. Or whatever. blaugh

I wanted to hear her take on marriage and relationships, and I'd almost forgotten that she does Pre-Cana talks (it's a Catholic thing, like pre-marriage counseling to make sure that kids these days know what they're getting into). Mom's easier to talk to than Dad, because he's WAY more opinionated than I am (if that's even remotely possible), and Dad wasn't in the car, which made things all the better. Cause he snores on long road trips. xP

Anyway, I told Mom that, being a complete idealist and romantic, I believe in the concept of soul mates. (Mom doesn't believe in this, and laughs hysterically at movies and romance novels if they even bring up the concept.) So she wanted to know what I thought a soul mate is. Cause her opinon of what others think is, "Oh, he's my soulmate, so I can slack off and not work on the marriage because it's meant to be."

And then I couldn't think up a response! Imagine me, speechless! xD That's totally not what I think a soul mate is. I can't really talk to her about spiritual stuff, because she's so adamantly Catholic that she doesn't believe in half the stuff that I do. But that's because I have an open mind to all of life's possibilities. Which is another point entirely. So I had to think of an "everyday" response that would please her. Cause I can't say, "the other half of your soul that you've been with in every past life," cause, hell, even I don't believe that! In spiritual terms, I think that a soul mate is someone that makes you feel whole and completed. You are the other half of their soul, but you're not necessarily their lover or friend or husband or whatever; you can also be their arch-enemy. (So, imagine, say, Lex Luthor as Superman's soul mate. *shudders* Scary, I know, but I'm SURE someone has done slash on that somewhere. xD) They're the person that makes you feel whole. So your saving the world from massive destruction makes you whole, makes you a better person. Same with plotting its emminent demise.

So how the hell was I supposed to translate this into everyday terms? I actually sat and thought about it for like 5 minutes, trying to make it sound right. Cause there were some things that I threw out that sounded dumb and childish. xP I'm NOT going to repeat them here. Anyway, I told her that I think that when you meet your soulmate, it's not a question of life/marriage being any easier. Because it sure as hell wasn't for Romeo and Juliet. Although that was more "love at first sight", which I sure as hell don't believe in. But that's another rant for another day.

I guess that my idea of a soulmate (in marriage) is that you'll do anything for that person. That nothing is too great to do, that no matter what, you want to work at it and stay together. That you overcome all obstacles together, hand-in-hand. Because you don't want to wake up alone or face the day without that person. It's something that penetrates all levels of the marriage; emotional, physical and spiritual.

I don't think that this happens all that often. People finding their soulmates, I mean. I don't think that EVERYONE has one. Only certain people. For what reason, I don't know. But there's only a select few that actually have that "perfect" someone for them. TV and movies have VASTLY overrated the odds of it happening in real life. But it does happen. Now, I'm not saying that I don't have one, nor am I saying that I do. I don't rightly know. I'm simply saying that I had a great talk with my mom about this concept. And made her see that I actually AM smarter and more mature that she likes to think!

And I think that no matter what, marriage takes a certain level of commitment and love and patience. I really hate people that go into it thinking, "Oh, if this doesn't work out, I can always get a divorce later!" That just shows a total lack of responsibility and maturity. Marriage takes WORK to make it last. Not just some nonchalant "Oh yeah, I'm married to you, aren't I? I made a commitment, didn't I? Oh well!" If you're not mature enough to know that, you're not mature enough to get married.

I only ever want to marry ONCE. And make it last. I really hope that this happens for me. I would consider myself a complete FAILURE if I ever had to get a divorce. But I'm totally willing to work at it, to make sure that I do everything there is to be done before throwing in the towel. Of course, that has to come from both sides, not just one. So I'd have to find the right guy as well.

So what's the point of this little entry? What brought this on? *pause* I have absolutely no frickin clue. Maybe its the fact that I'm trying to take a look at my life and figure out my stance on everything. Maybe it's because ALL my friends are getting married. Maybe its because I've been thinking too much about it in the past few days and I'd really begun to think that I'd end up alone for the rest of my life. I'd gotten used to the idea. But at least now I have a plan either way. And I'm not scared to be alone anymore. But that's another rant for another day as well!