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your about to get caught up...

i'm still having trouble with my momma, and it doesnt look like its gonna get any better. I'm still alone all the damn time, so i've read everything i can find twice at least. I was put on birth control a week ago and its pissing me off cuz it makes me bruise really easy(my cat left big bite prints) and i have to pee all the damn time. i hope that goes away soon. I still dont know whats going on with me other than that, but i've lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks..so i'm doin better. um..i got a new cell phone..yay..its still crappy but at least it works. I changed schools and it really sucks a**...i keep getting letters threatening suspension and expulsions for weird reasons. i Still cant sleep a whole night..so here i am. burning_eyes my mom keeps crying and i dont know why, i've stopped leaving my house again(not my fault). um...what else...i still dont have enouph gold to get my bustier crying . urmmm...my grandparents are driving me nutts as usual. i'm in a damn library all day and i still have nothing to do...i need new music(help send rini music!!) i miss chris' mixes dammit!!
i now wear more color than i ever have before and i hate it...i'm sleepin on my knee and typing this. I spent most of today online hangin out with meg since thats the best i can do right now. i wish i could be there with her so much, i hate that she i s in pain...i'm in pain too but i'm handling it better than she has been and i seem to get worse as she does. i hate being helpless it pisses me off, i want to be helpfull and i cant be dammit.
shutting up now...
rini