Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I'm really bored. I wonder if anyone actually reads this. ....I did have some people reading ti for a while but then I stopped updating for like 2 months so I guess people forgot I have a journal. hmmm.....what to talk about.....I guess I could talk about Halloween but that would be boring. I think I'll post about Halloween later though.

Sometimes I think kids with a dead parent are luckier than those with divorced parents just 'cause my parents are divorced and they hate each others guts. If given the chance they'd probably slit each other's throats. Kids with a dead parent have never had to sit in their father's apartment with their mother ouside screaming and threatening to call the police. Having parents screaming at each other like that is terrifying to a kid. I was freakin' 8 when this happened! and they claim they want the best for the kid but what would be best is for them to make up.

Having all that happen when you're 7 years old up 'till you're 12 or 13 can really screw up someone. Yeah I'm over most of it but my parents still hate each other. I'd be scared just for them to be in the same room together. but really, do you need to put your kid through all that just 'cause it didn't work out? You can still hate each other on your time but atleast keep a normal level of sanity around your kid. Yes, I love chaos, insanity, randomness...but this is just too much insanity for me.

I don't know is having all this happen around me when I was a kid affected my personality at all but no kid should have to go through that. I know I am slightly sadistic...hell, I know I'd sadistic. I keep all this stuff inside, I have serious personality flaws I hide. I secretly hate half the people I know. I want to strangle some people I know who think I consider them a friend. I've considered cutting but I never have actually done it. It's not like I want to die though. I just want about 30 other people to.

Those people out there I do love, even after reading this, just don't forget that I do love you. Some of you know who you are and those of you who don't will have to figure out if you're one of those I really do love.

damn...I just made myself all depressed. oh well....I've been needing to say that for a while so I do feel better now. Any of you who actually read the whole thing. Thanks.