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well I just decided to put some thoughts down on here so yeah no need to read it unless you're really bored.

Well I just recently got back from a trip to Vancouver as anyone who has been reading my blogs would know and I had a long talk/visit with Roni. Things seemed fine until I left to come home again, I really missed her a lot, it's really hard to let go of the old feelings I guess. I'll always love her, but right now she's been acting really distant towards me which I guess is a good thing since we're not dating anymore, which is something I have to get back into my head again. So once again I have to sort out my priorities and what's important to me. I know that I will always love her, but should I wait around for her to want me back again? that's what's got me really confused, because I know that a part of me really wants to do that, but another part of me wants to experience things with another person as well. I know that she will always be special to me, but I have no idea how long she's going to be with Jaxon for, and they might end up falling in love with each other, which would make my time waiting wasted time. I know that there's plenty of other girls in the world, but I still feel like she's my soul mate, the one that I was meant to be with in this world and whatever comes after it.

It sucks being alone and lonely but music tends to help, yes it sucks that I can't hang out with some of my new friends for a while, but that's something that'll pass, what I miss the most is the pool hall actually, pool seems to help calm me and focus me lately, without that I'm not sure what I'm going to do to help me get through things, but luckily most of the major things I've already gotten over and accepted. Life goes on whether we want it to or not. Who knows I might be alone for the rest of my life and if that's what happens, then I'll just have to accept that fact. Right now I don't think I'm ready for a new relationship, since I'm still hung up on my old one, though who knows if I really click with someone else I might end up with them instead. Either way I have a lot of thinking to do, I think Roni's trying to distance herself from me so that she won't feel so bad about being with jaxon, though if she's happy with him then I'm happy for her, still I have no idea what's going through her head and I don't want to just assume I know. Still I'm out of time on this computer so I'll just end it here.
-Jamie