I've only had about 2 hours of sleep this weekend. There're far too many important things to contemplate over right now to waste sleep on, even though I really need it. I've been really considering on changing my college program though it'd require me to change schools altogether. I don't really know how to go about it, with my parents' feelings and my own reluctance in the way. I want to get out of this Architectural Technologies program since I have absolutely no interest in it anymore but it seems like I'm too far into it to just drop out now. Especially since there's a project due in about 2-3 weeks. Normally, I wouldn't even care about that but since I was sort of forced to be in a group, it wouldn't be fair to them. Then there are issues going on with Courtney, I'm just hoping everything is okay.
What's sad is that I thought if I went back to college, everything would straighten itself out. That I wouldn't have to worry about much of anything anymore and I could just let the routine of school life take control. I didn't anticipate, however, to lose complete control of everything else. Its as if I'm just watching everything pass by me without getting a word in. A feeling of helplessness. I'm just looking on and waiting for failure 'cuz I'm too afraid to take any sort of initiative. My indecisiveness, my hesitant nature. I've gotten too used to the habit I developed in school where I would fail 'cuz I wasn't entirely sure of what to do and wait for my second try which, in highschool, or at least the one I went to, was allowed. But there are just some things you end up running into that don't give that second try. You aren't always given that chance to redeem yourself.
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Cidius Creid
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"A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials."
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User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
My husband back then told me though, that if I wasin't going to persue what I was going to school for as a career when I graduate, I'm better off dropping out and getting a full time job till I can figure out what I want to do instead of wasting another 5k for a course I didin't care about.
So I dropped out, I'm an office's b***h... but atleast I'm getting paid... and it's not too too bad.
It took a lot of thought before I dropped out though... because in my family, dropping out is a sign of failure, and failure wasin't an option. ^^;;
You might as well try to atleast finish this year though... who knows, things might get more interesting in the second term.... semester... I have no idea what to call pt. 2 of this year xp