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“Why, please tell me why,” his voice barely a whisper, desperate to know the truth.
She stared at him; at his dark wind-blown hair, his strong but loving jaw and at his golden eyes, which stared directly back at hers. He looked at her with such grief, such painful knowledge but most of all, with such love. She didn’t deserve it, she knew she didn’t. How could he love her? She knew it wasn’t right, she shouldn’t have his love so she fought it, but the harder she fought the closer he pushed to be with her, to help her.

His hand trembled as he traced the scars lining her arms, covering her stomach and thighs, coating her dangerously thin body. Tears filled his eyes as he finally saw it all. Saw her pain in full, and what it had done to her. He pulled her closer, and placed the faintest, most gentle, ghost of a kiss upon her trembling lips. Despite her prominent bones and the marks that adorned her skin, he loved her; with all his heart he never wanted anything else.

“I’m so sorry. Please just leave me, forget me. Please. Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I wont hurt you, not anymore,” her voice thick with despair as she stepped away from him. Stepped out of his reach. She couldn’t be the cause of his pain, not anymore. The grief in his eyes was too familiar, too real, and it only existed because of her. Falling to the ground her sobs shook her, consumed her.

Each word was a dagger through his heart, he couldn’t bear her pain, he couldn’t live without her. Every scar that lined her body cut him and each ounce of weight she shed starved him. He was her, in body mind and soul, and she was him. She wouldn’t push him away this time he wouldn’t let her, not anymore. Falling to his knees he held her, buried his face in her chest and breathed her.
“I love you, no matter how hard you push me or how far you run, nothing will ever change that. That is why I am going to be with you wherever you go, whether you like it or not. Even if you can’t see me, you will feel me there watching, holding and loving you with all that I have and all that I am.”

Lifting her face she stared at him, eyes glistening from tears. How could he love her. How could anyone love her, when even she hated herself.
“Why do you do this to yourself,” his voice deep as midnight as he studied her. He couldn’t understand how she could hate herself so much. She was beautiful. Beautiful to everyone but herself. He kissed her forehead before gently lifting her slight weight and carrying her to the bed.
“Now, are you going to tell me,” it wasn’t a question.

Tears began to run again, could she really do it; face the truth she had been denying for so long. Could she let down the wall she built and let someone in, let him help her?
“It’s about him…,” her voice faltered, “I don’t think I ever forgave my body for being the instrument that was used to destroy me, and I became its cruellest torturer .”
His mind racing. Who was he? Her body the instrument? It didn’t take long for him to piece it together. Rape, she was raped. Her own body used against her, to kill her spirit, kill the fire he knew once burned inside her, the passion. He finally understood.

“It was my fault, I deserve to be punished,” her voice like stone, it hurt him to here her speak without emotion, without depth.
“It’s not your fault and never was. Do you want to be punished?”
“I deserve it.”
“That wasn’t the question,” by now he held her shoulders, forcing her to accept him, making her look into his eyes and see his concern, his love.
“I just want to be me again,” her voice thick with sorrow, beyond his comprehension.
For the first time in his life he didn’t have to search for words to heal, they found him.
“Your are, in the end we are who we are, no matter how much we appear to have changed. You are you, always have been and always will be, and that’s why I love you. Not for what you were, or what you will be, but for what you are.”