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You guys are even lucky that you're able to go to Italy or Tokyo.. dude I've only been outta the country of US once and that was when I was 2 and had my 3rd b-day in France.. I'm in this thing called IHS.. and like in the summer they take people to different places.. which I wanna go to..but I freakin' can't 'cause I don't have enough goddamned money..


I've heard enough about school.. and working hard enough in it.. I freakin' failed Geometry last year.. I tried.. but I didn't understand it.. I'm prolly not going to Harvard. knowing me I'm just probably going to go to either to the University of Oregon or.. to Lane community college -_-

yeah but see.. in my school I have to pass Algebra 2 in order to graduate my highschool.. and if I end up passing algebra 2 in my junior year I get the choice of not taking math in my senior year which I reaaaally want to do.. and I kinna know what I want my job or jobs maybe to be.. I really wanna act.. kinna have my own band and doing photography kinna too.. but yeah due to this IHS thing.. I can't take photography thing 'cause I have morning IHS and photography is only in the morning and I like having morning IHS even if I haven't had afternoon.. and I've been wanting to work at the theaters here so I'll be able to actually get an Ipod.. which would finally be nice instead of using my CD player along with seeing most of my friends and random people getting freaking Ipod's and small little mp3 players that hold up to like 100 more or less songs.. and jeez yeah my mom is kinna fixated on the idea of not getting me an Ipod.. maybe an MP3 player but yeah.. and I'm just like 'freaaakkk man.. I need a job so I can actually have money and not depend on my parents giving me money.. and I wanna go somewhere out of the US too'

I have a friend who last year in the summer freaking went so manly places in Europe which pisses the hell outta me cause I wanna go to Europe and visit sooo bad but I'm still happy for them though..-_-.. and plus there's always the boy problem... I'm going to be 17 in December and I haven't even had my first kiss or boyfriend yet.. and one of my friends have already kissed and kinna made out with someone she really likes but isn't her 'boyfriend' cause they don't want long distance relationships which I can understand.. but still she talks about him quite a lot and it's true he is really good looking but jeez way to make me feel bad without knowing it.. and now I think the person I like doesn't even talk to me at all that much.. I've liked him for a year now when he came to my town last year in like may he was so friendly to me then and when I went to this family reunion/ religious thing.. we were more friendly and actually stayed in the same house.. but this year when I went to that he only like talked to me like 2 or 3 times and it was like quick questions or like a comment.. so I'm just.. garrr!!!!

I mean yeah sorry KT you're lucky and stuff I'm just like annoyed right now.. 'cause yah.. only place outta the country I've been to is france which I had my 3rd b-day too and I just really wanna get out of the Us and go visit Europe..

Plus there's this whole factor of my family being freakin' poor man.. I mean my dad started giving me 20 bucks a month for the last maybe 4 or 5 months.. but since he quit his job because of certain circumstances, I only got 10 bucks this month.. and.. it's kinna endless on what I could say and yet I don't know what to say on that.. it just makes me sad and annoyed at that 'cause I can't do a lot of things others can in ways.. and I need a job so I can get money.. but yeah.. my forgetful mom kinna forgot to turn in my application at the theaters so I didn't have a job all summer and had to depend on my dad more like waiting for him to give me my money after I like spend it a bunch and just.. s**t man(not my father).. I'm just hating my life.. what is there that's good in it? I mean really? well my friends are good.. but you know.. bejeezess