Honestly, I really don't care. Well maybe I do because...Every new years I always wanted the signature picture, hah! New Years kiss I never got I still don't have. This would be week three I haven't seen Mike and by this Sunday he won't have spoken to me for a week. What the hell am I doing wrong? This stress is making me sick, really, I am sick to my stomach like I'm going to spew all over the god damn computer and last night my nose started bleeding and my coldness is returning. I hate to sound weird but I used to be cold no matter what when I was depressed, like nothing would fix me, and now he's not here to warm me and I'm stuck wondering if he'd care to. I wonder who he's with...Honestly. All the s**t I've been through this week and he's not here, god dammit! I walked in the hosue today after getting back from Beth's house and said to Eli, "Hey, looks like Mike hasn't stopped by, huh Eli?" and I walked into the kitchen and Jane said, "Megan, forget him." What the hell should I do? This is going to turn into another Anthony if he keeps...::Shrug:: ignoring me. ******** Launch cast radio just played Amour by Rammstein and now "Walk away" by Sisters of Mercy. Lmao...I feel soo cold, I have to smile. I thought I got past this thing...This being hurt soo badly and soo suddenly. I thought that the whole age consent worry was my hill to climb and sled down...And plant my flag. I don't know what to do with myself, maybe I'm just acting childish...The whole hopeless romantic bit. Please, goddess, lemme get through this the right way.
I still watch the cars.
VampyrZenite · Sat Jan 01, 2005 @ 05:31am · 0 Comments |