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Okay...
depressed if you cant tell... have been for a while...
Adele was supposed to be on... but now im on my own... three hours for me to sit alone on my own... we'll see how happy i am latter right :p
well ither way... she left me for her former ex who hates my guts... i supose its rightfuly so... never deserved her anyway... just hoped i could make her happy... im controlling apparently... not something i wanted to give off... but... i guess theres a lot of diffrence from how i am in person an how i am on the phone... went with Troy for a while... and he and i ended in a caticlismic smash of ouchyness... not so bad... but yeah... now hes convinced im pathatic.. and changed... well.. it hurts to see the truth of what some one is... and its not a good idea to idolize them seting them on a pedistall for all tosee even thought they dont see them at all... well thats not a problem i guess... but what ever... im just typeing to get the feelings out...
I hurt... but no mater how many times i say that it doesnt seem to help me hurt less.. thought they said that if you express your feelings it will be better... but i dont think thats working at the moment... nor has it worked... ither way... im on my own now... no one really wants me in the way i wish i could be wanted... but whatever.... im here ... im down... thats me life isnt it?...
in other news i went to a gothic club last thursday and rather enjoyed myself... no problems there... i was decomisioned from prop duty and my cusin wants me to paint the eifle tower on her steepled wall... some day i might actualy get around to doing that... but not today... ither way...
continueing... Im in school again wich im sure you all can tell seeing as how im acutaly posting a jurnal entry ... this would mean im bored... and when people are bored they do things to make them selfs not so bored... though this may manage for me for a second or two it wont hold my intrest for long.... ither way... im in school and i have 18 units... for those of you not in college... thats as much as you can have here... it means six or so classes with lots of work in them... one of wich is Bio so i will be on the computers a lot more... seeing as how i have to have computer lab houres in here somehwere.. up to 18 to get a 100 % on the grade... so here i am.. for AT LEAST 18 hours.... its probly gona be longer... this has taken officaly 5 minuets now... verry boring still... and Adele is sitll not on line... wunder where she is that her phone is ignored and so is the time.... my guess... the sims... yes.. this is my guess... always... the sims.... well at least shes happy with them.... i hope shes happy wi th all shes got... cause... well... im here if she not not that im any good for that anymore.... i wish i was.... wow i really am pathetic... its not like im haveing an epiphany or anything... but i do feel rather lame for lamenting in a jurnal about how much i miss her though i havent done it yet i do infact plan on doing that... so if youve made it this far in to my randome ness good job to you.
well that all not with standing... hi... I found Kristin at school today... we have Bio lecture together... thats awful nice.... but yeah... so im gona try and find Adele... now... um... latter...
 Verin · Mon Aug 14, 2006 @ 08:35pm · 1 Comments |
