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Love.. such a complex emotion. |
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Have you ever been in love? Have you ever witnessed the many emotions it carries with it? Have you ever experienced the complexity that often dwells with the sensational feeling? Love truly is an amazing quality and emotion that us human beings are given the opportunity to be blessed with. It simply leaves you in a state of awe. Words cannot possible began to describe the power and affect of love.
Recently, I have managed to pull myself into one hectic love triangle. Ever since I began my job at BJ's (a pizza place), it was like a barrier was shattered around me, and suddenly guys are wanting to date me. Now, don't get me wrong- I am highly flattered about the situation. But at the same time, it leaves me extremely uncomfortable. One guy, whom I refer to as my stalker (long story, from my sophomore year) bought a dozen red roses, a stuffed puppy, and a box of chocolates- which might I add are very, VERY delicious, and said "Merry Christmas Amanda." Yes, they were very nice, and I had no idea on how to respond. But moments later, mere minutes, I went outside and cried. Why might you ask? How do you pretend to like someone when your heart belongs elsewhere?
The situation between him and I was cleared up easily, with the thanks of a dear friend. ^^ And this dear friend.. let me just say.. I didn't know it was possible to experience emotions such a these. Yes, it is easy to figure out- he is the one I have fallen so deeply in love with. And you want to know the bizarre thing about it? I don't even know his age... -_-; I am very pathetic, I know.
But oh, the feelings I experience when around him. It's like his presence gives my spirit wings, and I soar high above the marshmellow clouds without a care in the world. His smile. I can't possibly began to describe how his smile affects me. Such a charming, delicate, yet goofy smile. I just want to throw my arms around him, and whisper in his ear, "You should smile more often, because you have such a nice smile." It warms my heart, my spirit, my soul. I simply cannot get enough of it.
He lent me his jacket the other day (I didn't have mine, and dumping ice in below freezing weather without a jacket... well, yah.. ^^;; ), and I had it for two days. I could smell him on it, and it sent my heart racing. I kept the jacket on all day, except for a few cirumstances which arose (I am human afterall). I even slept in it. I was embraced with his delicate, breath-taking scent. And I couldn't stop smiling because of it. I couldn't stop being happy.
Never in my life have I experienced such wonderous emotions of joy, bliss, sheer happiness. This man has granted me these sensational feelings, ones in which I have always longed for. It's just too good to be true..
Now if only I had the guts and will to confess to him my burning desires, the love that I hold so strongly for him... *Sighs.* Why do I have to be cursed with such feelings of shyness and nervousness? -_- I will.. someday.. overcome these obstacles and tell him- and perhaps, that day may be tomorrow. XD
Love.. such a complex, undescribable, sensational emotion- a gift.
 Broken Advent Child · Tue Dec 28, 2004 @ 05:27am · 0 Comments |
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